Whatto! Australians..........
The land of spiders......
....where it's possible to 'whipe' ones ar5e......
....which I believe is a cross between a 'whip' and a 'wipe'....
....either way it sounds painful to me.
But not half as painful as the emotional effects created by.....
....the mysterious 'Sign writing Wizard' .....
....(an anonymous person)......
....who created some very public messages.....
....for a lady named Jennifer.
One day...........
.....in the very early hours.......
....... this 'Wiz' secretly erected three separate signs along the Barrenjoey Road, in Avalon.
His feelings were seemingly romantic:
..... the first sign said......
Aaaaaaaah!
How nice!.........
But the next one said:
Oh dear!.....
And a bit further down the road.........
....the next sign added:
Locals were divided over whether the increasingly bitter signs were a joke or whether to feel sorry for Jennifer.
"Whenna furst sore it I wuz just on me bike"said retailer Jeff Kahler.......
"I wuz larffin me bluddy head orff.........
Theres been some really gud soins puddap...
...... but I reckon these are sommada best.....
...... it sertenly took me bluddy mind orff me dryvin."
Another Avalon resident said: "I think it's a praink.........
.... If not, it's reeelly meeen.......
...... or Jennifa screwed app beeg time."
And then things began to look up a little for poor Jennifer: Local council rangers took down all the spiteful signs........
......... but not to preserve Jennifer's dignity.......
...... oh no!....
....simply because the 'Wiz' behind the signs hadn't received permission to put them up.
What are YOUR experiences of 'breaking up'?
Tallyho!
Best wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline
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