Lord Noel Sees Signs of Nonesense

 Whatto! Peeps...

 If, like me, you've encountered signs during your daily life that don't seem to make any sense...

...do you find yourself asking "Is it me?"...

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's Bit For Nature

What ho! Pepys...

If you are someone like me who loves saving the environment

why not splash out on one of these lovely yet affordable 'Hemp Towels'?

I'm pleased to report that I've just tried out one of the new hemp towels

 and it's left me completely high and dry!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Goes Above And Beyond

What ho! Pepys...

If you're someone who loves the shelter provided by the roof of each room in your home.

Maybe you love it so much you like to kiss it?!

You do don't you?

You dirty....

I suppose you could say you're a ceiling fan!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on Mosquitoes

What ho! Pepys...

Lady Jacqueline came home looking shell shocked last night.
She'd been for a drive with our little niece who's only six years old.
Lady J told me they'd been driving behind a slow moving garbage truck which she was trying to overtake, when suddenly rubbish began to fall from the back of the truck.
Several newspapers and an empty bottle fell from the rear of the truck but a large plastic dildo was the object that chose to bounce firmly off the car windscreen and shock both my good Lady wife and niece in the process.
"What was that Aunty?" cried our naturally worried Niece.
Not wishing to dwell on the embarrassing object any longer than necessary Lady J quickly created a lie saying "Oh that was just a mosquito - there's lots of them around here and they often die by being splattered on windscreens"
Pleased with her swift creative reasoning she drove on smiling, if still a little shaken, happy with her quick witted response.
Then our Niece said thoughtfully from the rear seat of the car "I'm surprised those Mosquitoes can fly at all with a cock that big!"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
  

Lord Noel's Appreciation of Previously Owned Bottles

Whatto!...Peeps

Now that I have my 'Celebrated Bottle Cutter' I am most reluctant to throw away empty glass vessels of any kind.....
....and when you see what creative people can do with old glass bottles and the like ....
....it all makes sense.

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Reveals Today's Word - 'Sustainability'

Whatto! Peeps....

Imagine a World where 'sustainability' is important....
...and I don't mean the 'sustainable growth' that George Osborne was talking about yesterday...
(a complete oxymoron if ever I've heard one)
...by this I mean a system whereby we do not strip the World of it's natural resources at such a rate that we don't consider our consequences or the impact it's having on our planet...
...and future generations....
...but WAIT!
I'm going far too fast.....
...Let's start with Fridgefast Ltd.......(they're a company that make Fridges).....but they need to sell lots to maintain year on year growth......
....so they hit on a great idea and make sure that their fridges only last 5 years....
....that way every 5 years someone needs to replace their fridge with a new one....
...and sales are maintained!
"Yippppeeee!"....The shareholders say as profits go up....
...but so do the amount of old fridges thrown away into landfill sites all over the world....
...but that's of no concern to Fridgefast because they are just focused on manufacturing Fridges....
...they really don't care about what happens to them once they leave the factory....
....and why should they?
But....I hear you cry.....
....this is the way we've always done it!....
....and it's got us to where we are today!....
.....as a highly productive Nation with a high standard of living!
And THAT's precisely the point.
We have oceans of wine.......
....warehouses of butter.....
....clothes mountains.....
....and famine whenever we need it.

(thanks to Roger Waters)
The rich get richer and the poor stay poor.....
....as the Earth slowly gives up it's treasures for us to squander......
....riches that cannot be replaced.
So I ask in all honesty......Can this behaviour be.......... SUSTAINED?
I think we all know the answer.....
...but what's the alternative?
Get rid of the nonsensical notion of 'sustainable economic growth'....
....stop making PROFITS our only aim in life......
....it only feeds the greed that we see illustrated each day by top level employees in Banking Institutions.
How about a change of heart?....
....a movement towards enabling people to contribute because they want to?....
....because they believe that they will all benefit from a better life?
And I don't mean just higher income....
...I'm talking about feeling better inside because they've done something to help others and made themselves feel better in the process.....a co-operative solution?
Already I can hear some people switching orf.....
...."This Guy's a weirdo!" etc etc
But a change is coming.....
....because it HAS to come!

For too long we have worshipped the false Profit....
....and our values have to change.....
...to a system that encourages nature instead of battling against it with pesticides?.....
...that allows nature to run it's course instead of trying to control it with vast landscapes of just one crop?.....
....that focuses on giving people a product that lasts instead of one that's designed to fall apart as soon as the warranty runs out?......
....and it's all summed up......
...in ONE simple word.......
SUSTAINABILITY.
Go on......give it a go!...
....what have you got to lose?
...except ....
.....everything?

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's Celebrated Glass Bottle Cutter

 Whatto! Peeps..... 

 It is with great pride and pleasure that I take this opportunity in revealing to the World something I have just finished building..
... 'Lord Noel's Celebrated Glass Bottle Cutter'...

.....and the tests so far have shown it to be a great success!

My design was based on several ideas I saw being utilised on the Internet....

....and borne out of the need for empty glass containers.....
.....for Lady Jacqueline to make her candles in.

Here you can see the Glass cutter, The 'V' and the adjustable setting for various lengths

As you may already know, my good Lady wife and I like to drink the 'odd' glass of wine from time to time...

....and although I'm happy to take these used bottles to the local bottle bank (having first removed as many as I need to house my own delicious home made wine)....

With the Bottle in place you are ready to begin

....the idea of re-using discarded bottles and giving them a new lease of life excites the burgeoning 'Eco Warrior' within me.

So let me describe the simple process involved in using this wonderful piece of kit.

 As you can probably see from the picture above the bottle rests neatly inside the 'V' shape I've created from plywood...

Softly pressing the smooth glass against the protruding cutter cuts the finest of grooves

....all that needs to be done is to revolve the bottle so that the glass cutter (which is screwed to the front, movable 'V' section) cuts a continuous line into the bottle around it's entire circumference....
(My design also allows this line to be cut at any point along the entire length of the bottle facilitating the production of various sized glass container, hoops and even a 'true bottle neck' for use with the guitar!)

Groovy!

Then, by carefully revolving the bottle in the hand whilst alternately applying to the entire length of the groove some hot water (from a kettle) and then cold water (from a tap)....

....you will then find that all of a sudden (as if by magic) the glass bottle will crack beautifully along the scored line for you...

...needing, at most, a few rubs with some wet and dry emery paper to take any rough edges away...
I've found that the secret is in making the groove deep enough to start the crack off properly.

The one below is shown directly after breaking away and is so clean a break that it could easily be safely used straight away as a vase or candle holder.

Cut entirely by the Magic of WATER!

Et Voila!... you have recycled your empty bottle into a item with numerous uses!

Even the bottle neck can be used!....I've seen them turned into 'handbells', and also hanging from wires as 'windchimes' and turned upside down and used with a bottle base attached as a 'goblet' or in a frame with several others as 'candle holders'!...

This really is something where you're only limited by your own imagination!

Have fun!.....AND help the Environment!

Ii have thoughtfully added some felt pads to the underside to avoid scratching the Chippendale

Thanks to 'Lord Noel's Celebrated Glass Bottle Cutter'

(Available for hire to those with shockingly good pedigrees)

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on Wasting Not ......Wanting Not

Whatto! Peeps.........

Reaches a new fever pitch

Over 30% of everything that's currently thrown into household bins is recyclable.

Leftover food, cardboard, junk mail, tea and coffee leftovers AND humanure.....can all be composted!

In this country.....

....we still stick to the idea of dumping our unwanted humanure into pipes filled with valuable drinking water......

.....and then using more of our precious drinking water to flush this soil enriching product away.....

....where it then causes pollution and expensive processing costs to dispose of it!

If we can just re-educate ourselves to change our behaviour by evolving towards a Natural way...

....the simple and incredibly effective process of Composting ALL of one's own waste.....

.....will lead to the following benefits:

SOIL ENRICHMENT
• Adds vital organic material
• Improves fertility and productivity
• Suppresses plant diseases
• Discourages insects
• Increases water retention
• Inoculates soil with beneficial microorganisms
• Reduces or eliminates fertilizer needs
• Moderates soil temperature

POLLUTION PREVENTION
• Reduces the need for methane producing landfills
• Reduces the unnecessary disposal of usable organic garbage
• Reduces or eliminates sewage

FIGHTS EXISTING POLLUTION
• Degrades toxic chemicals
• Binds heavy metals
• Cleans contaminated air
• Cleans storm water runoff

RESTORES LAND
• Aids in reforestation
• Helps restore wildlife habitats
• Helps reclaim mined lands
• Helps restore damaged wetlands
• Helps prevent erosion on flood plains

PATHOGEN DESTRUCTION
• Can destroy human disease organisms
• Can destroy plant pathogens
• Can destroy livestock pathogens

MONEY SAVING
• Can be used to produce food
• Can eliminate waste disposal costs
• Reduces the need for water, fertilizers, and pesticides
• Can be sold at a profit
• Extends landfill life by diverting materials
• Is a less costly bio-remediation technique

The Natural cycle keeps everything intact

The 'modern' cycle is broken and causes pollution

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel