Lord Noel Gives A Travel Warning

Whatto! Sightseers.......

 

 Today I feel it is high time to warn everyone.....

....who is thinking of travelling in the near future.....

 

 .....never to go on holiday ........

....where a man named 'Spencer Tunick' is staying......

I did......

.....and had a perfectly good holiday RUINED!

........All thanks to Spencer Tunick!

I went to the Opera House to see Madame Butterfly........
.....and this is what happened!

And the National Portrait Gallery was just the same!

......and outside..........

.....the roads were so crowded.....

..... that my chauffeur couldn't even get us through!

To say that I am livid.........

....is an understatement!

ALL my holiday snaps are ruined!

How can I possibly show people THESE?!

 They'll think I'm some kind of PERVERT!

Everywhere I went.........

....every bally alleyway and staircase.......

 ....just masses of naked people!
"What the Devil's get into them all?" I asked

....but nobody answered.......

....because they were too busy......

...... taking their bally clothes orf!

....they even blocked my Hotel Foyer!

And when I finally managed.....

..... to make my way out of the Hotel.......

....(accidentally nipping several fingers and 'soft bits'.......

...... under the heels of my handmade leather brogues as I went).....

 ......I couldn't even get a bally cup of tea in peace either!

(I think NOW you can see why I became so angry).....

I'm not sure what it is about Spencer.......

....but he just seems to bring out......

...... people's 'naked side'.......

It seems that they only have to hear the mere mention of his name......
....and 'Poing!'...

...all their clothes come orf!

In the end.....

...I took a train out of the City........

.....in the desperate hope.......

.....of finding some tranquility somewhere........

Maybe I'd find it....

....amongst Nature?.....

.....deep in the heart....

..... of the Countryside?.......

But NO!...

....... he'd been there too!

Do you know.....

....I couldn't even go for a solitary walk.......

..... up a mountain?!

Thanks to Spencer BL00DY Tunick!

I was so EXASPERATED.......

....that I headed immediately back to the airport.........

....making my way (with great difficulty)......

.....through the over-congested Airport Lounge.....

And I booked a seat on the next available outward bound flight......

....for ANYWHERE!....

....as long as it was.....

....as far away as possible......

..... from wherever Spencer was!

And do you know?

He'd even influenced the lovely ladies at the Virgin Ticket desk......

....... with his 'nudey' ideas!

Next year I will find out where Spencer is going.......

.....and avoid it like the plague!

What's the strangest sight YOU'VE seen whilst on holiday?

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

Dress With Finesse