Tuesday 27 October 2009

Lord Noel Believes U Is Wot U Eatz

Whatto! Nutritionists.....


We are often advised to eat more fruit and vegetables......
....and are told that they are 'good for us'....
....but where's the proof?
We need REAL evidence from a leading Public figure ........
....someone who we admire......
.....and even lust after......
....someone like the beautiful Cheryl Cole......


.....who is currently celebrating her success in life....
....with her Number 1 single in the charts.....


....a lucrative contract with a well known hair product company.....
.....and a place at the Judges 'Top Table' on the hugely popular X Factor.
If I was going to follow someones example on looking good....
....it would be someone like HER!
So what does Cheryl have to say about diet?
...and more importantly....
...what does SHE eat?..
..that makes her look soooo good?


Well.....
...in this weekends news she revealed that she lived in an ordinary house in Newcastle....
...(that much I knew).....
....that her brother was addicted to glue sniffing.....
....(maybe THAT's the answer?....to have the faint whiff of glue in the background of ones life?)
....that she was in an abusive relationship with a drug addict....
....(Aha! Maybe it's HEROIN!?.....that old 'keep you skinny' food supplement?)
.....she wore old clothes and had toys that were secondhand from neighbours....
...(so obviously not spoiled or overindulged as a child)....
Apparently at one point....she was so hard up.....


....that she had to live in tiny shorts and a top like this!
.....but what did she EAT?..
...come on!..
..Spill the beans!
Well apparently it was just that.....
....BEANS!
So does that count as a vegetable?
...it is a Bean after all?.....
Meanwhile Nutritionists of the world UNITE.....
...stop peddling the boring old 'fruit and greens' mantra.....
...and get up and jiggy with the times innit?!.....
(I am reliably informed that that is proper 'street' talk)
Personally.......
...I know a good thing when I see it....
.....and I shall be eating many more beans.....


....and I shall be perfectly safe.....
....as long as I can get Lady Jacqueline to stop smoking anywhere near me.

Tallyho!

What single food item have you lived on for more than a year?

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

No comments: