What ho! Peeps...
Are you looking for love?
Are you......young, free and single?
Well one out of four's not bad!
Apparently alot more people these days are taking advantage of the internet to find themselves a new partner....
If you are one such person....
....you may find this simple 'Decoder' useful!
Dictionary for Decoding Personal Ads
"40-ish"...........................49.
"Adventurous".................Sleeps with everyone.
"Athletic".........................No breasts.
"Average looking"............Moooo!.
"Beautiful"........................Pathological liar.
"Emotionally Secure".....On strong medication.
"Feminist"................Cropped hair and tattoos.
"Free spirit"...................Junkie.
"Friendship first".....Former slut (currently on antibiotics).
"New-Age"....Copious amounts of very obvious body hair.
"Old-fashioned".................No BJs.
"Open-minded".................Desperate.
"Outgoing"..................Loud and Embarrassing.
"Professional".....................Bitch.
"Voluptuous / Cuddly"...........Fat.
"Enjoys eating out"...........Very fat
"Large framed"............Looks like a sofa.
"Wants Soul mate".............Stalker.
"Musical"............Owns some records / tapes
"Self-Sufficient"........On Government benefits
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
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