Lord Noel On Interesting Banking

What ho! Oz and NZ ers....

Occasionally Banks (you know....those institutions that pretend to look after your money and then have to be saved from Bankruptcy by us?).......

.....well....they like to give out advice to Customers on how to manage their finances.....

Their latest advice is apparently:
"If you are a credit card holder.....be sure to cancel your credit cards before you die"...

....allow me to explain.....

 A lady died this past January, and ANZ (Australian & New Zealand) bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

 A family member made a telephone call to the ANZ Bank 'helpline':

 Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

 ANZ:
'The account was never closed so the late fees and charges still apply.'

 Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to your 'collections' department?'

 ANZ:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

 Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

 ANZ:
'Either report her to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

 Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

 ANZ:
'Excuse me?'

 Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you …the part about her being dead?'

 ANZ:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 

(Supervisor gets on the phone)
 Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

 ANZ:
'The account was never closed so the late fees and charges still apply.'

 Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

 ANZ:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

 Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
 (Lawyer info given)

 ANZ:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

 Family Member:
'Sure.'
 ( fax number is given )

 After they get the fax:

 ANZ:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

 Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'

 ANZ:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

 Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

 ANZ:
'That might help.'

 Family Member:
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney, Plot Number 1049.'

 ANZ:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

 Family Member:
'Well, what the f*** do you do with dead people on your planet?'
  

Ahhhh!....another satisfied customer....

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel