Are you sick of the mundane quiet comfortable middle-class family life ?
Do you have two well educated spotless kids called Toby and Jocasta and a dog named Henry ?
Have you lost the passion in the once sweet, carefree kiss you give to your Burberry and green wellington booted wife that drives a green rangeRover each morning as you leave for the office ?
Tired of thinking about the many investments, pension plan schemes and the never-ending stream of lawyers bills and up-keep of two homes.
Sick of your Au Pair, gardener and maid ?
YES ?
THEN...
Wipe the slate clean with a healthy dose of Barettine methylated Spirit.
100% guaranteed to secure you a life of fun, chasing pigeons around car parks, swearing incoherently at strangers and not worrying about urinating in ones pants in public.
Thick, grey matted hair will now grow on what once was a shiny balding dome and the narrow, pale, majestic nose will flourish and spread like red broccoli.
You will find a certain freedom in carting around a sleeping bag full of newspaper instead of a Louis Vitton suitcase full of designer pyjamas, and take great pride in winning yet another fist fight with the elderly bag-lady where you hold her head over over a perforated oil drum fire located underneath cold a motorway bridge.
Barretine's Meths changed my life - some would say for the better - give it a go - AN ABSOLOUTE BARGAIN - 5 stars.
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