Lord Noel Gives Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex

What ho! Pepys.....

....Lord Noel here....

"Hey there's water!.... I'll just go and wash my balls"

I am orften asked by my good Lady wife.....

....what the attraction is of Golf to a man of my tender years.....

.....and I told her "I can sum up the attractions of Golf by giving you a list.....

....the infamous 'Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex' list"....

....and I proceeded as follows:....

You see, In golf....

It's very difficult to get the ball in the wrong hole

A below par performance is considered good.

You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

It's much easier to find the sweet spot.

Wallop! She certainly knows how to stroke balls

Foursomes are encouraged.

You can still make money doing it as a senior.

Three times a day is possible.

Golf - 'A nice walk ...ruined'

Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you do it with someone else.

If you live in Florida, you can do it every day.

You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

Neville preferred to play with himself - wanker!

And best of all................

If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it.

Time to trade in the old bag?

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel