Lord Noel On First Class Flying

Whatto! Travellers......

I recently returned from a short flight back from Brussels.....

.....where I was asked to attend a boring 'summit meeting'.....

....discussing matters of Policy which will soon affect everyone in the EEC.....

....and on the flight home I was lucky enough to be sitting next to a rather lovely French lady.....

.... in the first-class section of an airplane.

I do love this type of travel.....

....so comfortable to sleep on......

...one can get ones head down without any problems whatsoever.....

....and it's remarkably cheap....

....especially when the Government is paying for it! Har har!

Suddenly the French woman beside me sneezed........

.....I wished her my best "Bless you!" and offered her a tissue, which she took and gently wiped her nose, then I watched as she visibly shuddered for about ten to fifteen seconds.

I went back to reading my magazine but, a few minutes later, the woman sneezed again.....

....I again said "Bless you!" and offered her another tissue, which she again wiped her nose with, then she shuddered violently once more.

I assumed that the woman had a cold.....

....and the shuddering probably meant she also had a bally fever too!

I went back to my reading.

A few minutes later the woman sneezed yet again.....

....but this time I just smiled, secretly wondering to myself whether to wear my 'Bird flu facemask' which was sitting in my hand luggage - stowed away nearby.

The woman this time took out a tissue of her own.....

....wiped her nose, and again her body began shaking......

....only this time even more violently than before.

At this point, I really couldn't contain myself and I said "I couldn't help but notice that you've just sneezed three times, wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently. Are you okay?"

She smiled at me a little sheepishly then murmered to me in her soft French accent "I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I have a very rare medical condition"

"Oh great!" I thought....trust me to get put next to a 'Potential Purveyor of a Pandemic'!

She continued with her explanation whilst I held my breath deeply to avoid intaking any nearby virii.......

"You see" she said...."whenever I sneeze...... I.....I.... have....well.....I have an orgasm."

My eyes must have registered their surprise at this point......

....as I sat up - looking extremely interested all of a sudden.....

.....and she looked a little embarrassed.

So I tried to make light of it all by saying "Well I must say I've never heard of that condition, are you taking anything for it?"

"Yes," she replied.........

...."Pepper."

Tallyho!

I wonder if I have any unusual medical conditions?

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

Dress With Finesse