Friday 12 December 2008

Lord Noel On Going Without

Whatto! Everyone.............

Jethro Tull bemoans the poor sales of his latest Album

I was in town the other day and I saw this chap who was a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless type............
......and he asked me for some money!
Naturally I am more than happy to contribute to any worthy cause................
.....so I took out my wallet, extracted ten pounds and asked him.................
"If I give you this money, will you buy alcohol with it instead of dinner?"
"No!" he said "I had to stop drinking years ago,"
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Alright" I said "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?"
"Sex is something I only dream about these days!" said the homeless man.
"Well, in that case" I said................
"I'm not going to give you the money after all.....................
Instead...... I'm going to take you home for a splendid dinner.................
......cooked for you by my wife Lady Jacqueline!"
The homeless man was naturally astounded............
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?" He asked................
"I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting!"
"That's perfectly okay!" I replied..................
"I want her to see what a man looks like.......................
..........after he gives up alcohol, golf, and sex!"

Tallyho!
best wishes - Lord Noel

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