Monday 28 January 2013

Lord Noel - Social Commentator

Whatto! Pepys...

Despite my eternal optimism...
I still believe there is much wrong with Society...
and I know I am not alone in thinking this.
The latest round of Government cuts and feeble Bank fines has proved that we simply cannot trust those in power to look after anyone but themselves.
So I emplore anyone with any sense to stop for a moment...
...and seriously take time to rethink the whole thing!
History has at last proved to me 
that neither Capitalism nor Communism works...
... so maye it's time to try 
Alcoholism!

Cheers! & Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Saturday 26 January 2013

Lord Noel Gets Artistic

Whatto! Pepys...


I was thrown out of the body painting tent at our local Fair
for "Putting too much into my work!"
So - from now on - I'm going to concentrate on just painting myself.
But of course, being Lord Noel...
...I wanted to do something really 'Special'....
...so I have now devised a really cunning plan. 
I'm going to dye my testicles! 
- it's diabolical!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Wednesday 23 January 2013

Lord Noel's Message

Whatto! Pepys...
 

We can all change the world.
It is simple.
We can begin today, now, by simply considering and acting wherever we can.
If... we plant fruit trees, there will be free fruit for people and increasing oxygen levels. 
The ecosystem will flourish.
If… we grow edible gardens instead of monoculture grass, especially in cities and towns. Many parks will have edible gardens as leisure zones. 
People will interact more with the Earth and each other. Friendship will blossom.
If… we begin to share our resources, really share. Invite others to share shopping trips, create food co-ops, gardens, allotments, share fuel…
Don’t be frightened to share…our existence on Earth is not a competition.
If…we nurture compassion and kindness then all abundance and contentment will follow.
If…we stop blaming our parents and society for all that is not right in our world and instead, take the problems, one by one and try to address them - then we will make progress.
Blame changes nothing.
If…we realise that destiny is about choice, and that each choice generates an energy and how we direct that energy creates the consequences we then live with.
We are all sacred souls on a journey. 
Your journey. 
Your choice to change the world you inhabit it for the better.
If…we understand the power within us and how we speak that power we also understand that words are powerful…uplift others with your words today…and good energy will return to you.

I read this powerful message here and I can feel the energy growing inside me already!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Monday 21 January 2013

Lord Noel on Odd Jobs

Whatto! Pepys...

Today I overheard a rude and very brusque chap shouting in town...
....and it reminded me of a job I walked out of many years ago...
...after my boss told me to "Lighten the fuck up!"
I was young and impulsive then....
...and I realised later that his comment was fair enough.
After all - I was the electrician on a porn set.

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Saturday 19 January 2013

Lord Noel on Dance

Whatto! Pepys...


I don't enjoy dance shows like 'Strictly Come Dancing' and the like...
...and I couldn't sit through a whole performance of River Dance either.
It's simply because I can't stand to watch tap dancing - it drives me crazy.
I imagine you'd feel the same...
...if you too could understand Morse Code.
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Monday 14 January 2013

Lord Noel - It's Definitely Me!

Whatto! Pepys...


How many times..
..have you heard the phrase "It's not you - it's me!"...
...and felt your heart sink?
(Obviously I've never heard it)
But yesterday I overheard two people saying to each other "It's not you - it's me!"...
...and I actually felt happy for them!
Because it was just the twins 
- trying to sort out their holiday photos!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Saturday 12 January 2013

Lord Noel's Business Opportunity of The Day

Whatto! Pepys....
The Patent has finally run out for Lego Bricks!

Now they can be copied by anyone...
... but the Lego name remains copyright.
I just know this chance is going to be exploited by someone who becomes very rich indeed...
...and I'll bet whoever it is - they're Chinese

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel


Monday 7 January 2013

Lord Noel On Technological Hiccups

What ho! Pepys...
Decent, fully clothed Gentlemen relaxing at home

Randolph's new 'Home Bar' left a lot to be desired
 

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Saturday 5 January 2013

Lord Noel Gets Superstitious

What ho! Pepys...


I'm not normally superstitious but I consider it to be very bad luck when a black cat beats you up and steals your wallet.

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Friday 4 January 2013

Lord Noel Saves You Money

What ho! Pepys...


After all the expense of Xmas you'll no doubt be looking for ways to economise.
Well here goes with today's money-saving tip! 

Local swimming pools can be too expensive to visit. So instead of squandering perfectly good money on a trip to you local LIDO why not simply wee into a lukewarm bath and ask a bored teenage boy to sit on a barstool and watch you?

You're welcome!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel