Whatto! Homosexuals.............. 
I read that "Gay rights protesters in Germany are up in arms because the Bremerhaven's Zoo plans to test the sexual orientation of six male Humboldt penguins which have displayed homosexual traits"................But zoo director Heike Kueck apparently said "gay groups worldwide have been cursing us since that announcement!"...............
The zoo says it just wants to encourage the rare Humboldt penguins to breed.........
The males have been observed trying to mate with each other and trying to hatch offspring out of stones...............
Neither of which will add to their numbers..............
"We don't know whether the three male pairs are really homosexual or whether they have just bonded because of a shortage of females" said Mrs Kueck, quoted by Germany's Der Spiegel news magazine "Nobody here wants to forcibly separate homosexual couples," she added.
Gay groups insist that penguins have a right to form couples without any human interference.......
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
Unfortunately we were desperate enough to have anyone!........and because of the terrible Salary on offer the standard of Candidate was extremely poor.............
He immediately answered: "Five!"
.........and then I give you another two bottles of Champagne........
..... how many bottles of Champagne have you got?"
.............and then we give you another two rabbits........
.................how many rabbits have you got?"
The man who goes hunting in the woods with his dog who finds a bone. For some reason the man wants the dog to put the bone down so he tries to hit the dog with the butt of his shotgun. The shotgun then fires, killing the man but leaving the dog to enjoy the bone in peace.
And a female Biology teacher who is driving home with a selection of chemicals from completed experiments inside her car. The smell from the chemicals becomes so overpowering that she decides to stop and dispose of them by pouring them into a nearby sewer. The chemicals then combine together in the sewer to become a noxious and 
And the tree-cutter who believes he will save time by placing his tree shredder directly underneath his ladder so he can throw the branches in as he cuts them off! Needless to say when he later fell from the same ladder - the shredder was waiting for him. 
Or there's the man who decides to cut down steel cable from a disused elevator shaft to sell for scrap. So he cuts through the cable but forgets to stand away from the path of the falling counterweight, which plummets down and crushes him to death. 
And there's three soldiers who decide to cut down a tree to pull it away from a nearby house. So they tie ropes from the tree to each of their wrists apparently 
Or what about the two farmers who thought it would be funny to swap to the opposite side of the road, a warning sign for an approaching trench? Haha! They then drive into town, get drunk, and on their return forget about their prank and drive into the trench themselves.
Or there's the man who's driving his Porsche when he comes to a queue for some traffic lights. And just before the lights..........is a railway crossing. He doesn't let the queue go forward far enough before he drives onto the railway line where his car becomes stuck. Realising he is now in grave danger he jumps from the car and starts to run - towards the oncoming train! This attempt to save his car was needless to say, unsuccessful. And so were attempts to revive him.
And there's the Priest who attempts to set the world record for clustered balloon flight by strapping himself to a column of helium-filled balloons. The winds then change and he is blown out to sea. When he calls for help he finds out that he doesn't know how to use his GPS unit to direct rescuers to his position and he is now lost over the ocean. Some time later balloon debris was found with his body.
And a snowmobile driver who attempts to chase a rabbit to run it over. (Already I don't like him!) The rabbit dives into a hole in the side of the road and the snowmobile driver follows and smashes into the side of the road - then the snowmobile explodes on impact!............ Whats up Doc?
