Sunday, 18 January 2009

Lord Noel's Night Out

Whatto! Nocturnalists.............
Lady Jacqueline and I decided that we would go out for the evening..............
Unfortunately it was our Chauffeurs night orf.............
......so one decided to ring up for one of those wretched Taxi people.............
But when the taxi chappie arrived we still hadn't found our cat to put her outside for the night!....


I decided to leave Lady Jacqueline to look for 'Fiddles' and so I told her I would meet her outside........... and went out to greet the taxi chappie.........
Here's the clever bit!.............
Knowing that all taxi drivers are linked to the criminal underworld...........
......either because they are what's colloquially known as 'ex cons'................
....or because they regularly associate with prostitutes and drug dealers...........
(I've seen all this on Television & at the cinema so I know it's true!)
Anyway........I obviously didn't want him realising that the Manor would be unoccupied for the evening because he'd get straight on the 'dog and bone' to his 'Burglar buddies' and 'ransack my joint!'........
.............thus ruining our evening out!
So I explained the delay by telling him 'My wife is just going upstairs to say goodbye to her mother!'..............
Brilliant!
I was happy that this ruse had probably helped us avoid being broken into later on..........
Several minutes later, an exhausted Lady Jacqueline arrives...........
......and as climbs into the back of the taxi with me..............
.....she says 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'

Tallyho!

Best wishes - Lord Noel

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