Whatto! peeps......
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| Please lie down and make yourself comfortable....but not too comfortable......! |
I am delighted to report that I have just received a Clinical Assessment from a well known Psychoanalyst who has responded in relation to our last posting. So I'll pass you straight over to a Professional......
"Hello Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline,
I often read with great delight your anecdotes, which bring a little laughter to the often sombre career I have chosen! Normally I just enjoy them over a mug of tea and a biscuit and then get back to my day, but on this occasion I feel I should offer my professional opinion (if I may?)
It does not take a psychoanalyst to tell you that your writer is clearly a female & young (aged somewhere between 18 and 29; based on the number of "mans" used here, either that, or perhaps she remembers the days when "man" was a "cool" word to use?")
The entire message is a textbook example of misplaced emotional attachment so I will offer my analysis in stages.
Her initial statement of "I'm glad you have decided to offload me" is in fact, the complete reverse!..and she is telling you that she is extremely annoyed with you for considering her and her problems to be a burden.
Her anger with you is such that she wants you to feel inadequate and a disappointment to yourself, yet her transparent rantings, reveal her real disappointment is with herself.
"You think you are a spiritual and cool guy". This is a statement of how SHE feels about you, not what what you think of yourself.
"You are F___king with your own head". This is a standard phrase often used, meaning, "I am trying to F__K with your head and I am extremely irate that you will not let me"!
"Giving yourself Alzheimers". I note you mentioned that your Father was suffering from this condition, so I would assume this is just plain and simple maliciousness on her part, designed to try to provoke an emotional response from you.
Her anger with you is such that she wants you to feel inadequate and a disappointment to yourself, yet her transparent rantings, reveal her real disappointment is with herself.
"You think you are a spiritual and cool guy". This is a statement of how SHE feels about you, not what what you think of yourself.
"You are F___king with your own head". This is a standard phrase often used, meaning, "I am trying to F__K with your head and I am extremely irate that you will not let me"!
"Giving yourself Alzheimers". I note you mentioned that your Father was suffering from this condition, so I would assume this is just plain and simple maliciousness on her part, designed to try to provoke an emotional response from you.
Tactics such as these can be viewed as the actions of a person who is rapidly becoming more desperate, as she fears she is losing control of the situation.
Her phrase "you need to play the game..but couldn't" is indicative of HER need to play a game, in which she firmly believed (and still does) that you were, and will again, be part of. More telling is the use of both present and past tenses, for example "you need to play the game", this is a present tense statement, meaning she is still trying to lure you into her game. The use of word "need" is reflecting her deep desire for you to continue to feed her "need". It is also an order to you rather than an invitation. The latter part of "but you couldn't", is attempting to induce a feeling of failure on your part and entice back into playing the "game".
"Wanting to help you on your life path", clearly reveals her intentions; that she wanted to take control of and shape, YOUR future. It would be very dangerous to allow someone so clearly manipulative an emotionally immature to have control of ANYTHING!
"Living with f___ked up people in my life" is a potent declaration of her own failure to make strong, meaningful connections to others, and her need to blame others for her present predicament.
"Ma & Pa stuck up their own arse", This lady feels she has been abandoned by her parents for whatever reason and has deep rooted anger towards them. I feel this where her problem really lies.
"Man I was out there". Is a literal statement, she was, and still is, in limbo. What she was hoping, was to find a kindred "lost spirit", however, it appears that because you are not at all lost that she is envious of your stability and homelife.
"Peace and love to you man ...if you ever find it". This is an easy one my friend! The "......." after "peace and love etc." mean that this lady wishes you absolutely no peace or love! What she ACTUALLY means is "If I my wishes come true.... you are never going to find it".
In short, if you were to mirror all that has been said in her letter, ie. reverse it as though it had been written ABOUT her rather than BY her, you have your answer!
She is questioning her value/worth as a person, her religious beliefs, her sanity, her place within her family structure, and her future hopes.
As you are clearly a charismatic man, who inspires laughter and well being in others, it is not surprising that this young lady has sought you out as a crutch, and desperately wants to be part of what she sees as your 'idylic life'. Indeed she is now quite likely to settle for accumulating some 'trophy' friends in common with you if she cannot achieve that closeness she so obviously craves with you, thereby maintaining a tenuous link with you and standing the (somewhat remote) chance of receiving some diluted attention by 'osmosis'. But relationships with people such as these tend to very emotionally draining and unfulfilling for the unfortunate "crutch"!
Don't be hard on yourself Lord Noel, you made a difficult, but in my opinion, correct decision.
Now... more fun please!"
Her phrase "you need to play the game..but couldn't" is indicative of HER need to play a game, in which she firmly believed (and still does) that you were, and will again, be part of. More telling is the use of both present and past tenses, for example "you need to play the game", this is a present tense statement, meaning she is still trying to lure you into her game. The use of word "need" is reflecting her deep desire for you to continue to feed her "need". It is also an order to you rather than an invitation. The latter part of "but you couldn't", is attempting to induce a feeling of failure on your part and entice back into playing the "game".
"Wanting to help you on your life path", clearly reveals her intentions; that she wanted to take control of and shape, YOUR future. It would be very dangerous to allow someone so clearly manipulative an emotionally immature to have control of ANYTHING!
"Living with f___ked up people in my life" is a potent declaration of her own failure to make strong, meaningful connections to others, and her need to blame others for her present predicament.
"Ma & Pa stuck up their own arse", This lady feels she has been abandoned by her parents for whatever reason and has deep rooted anger towards them. I feel this where her problem really lies.
"Man I was out there". Is a literal statement, she was, and still is, in limbo. What she was hoping, was to find a kindred "lost spirit", however, it appears that because you are not at all lost that she is envious of your stability and homelife.
"Peace and love to you man ...if you ever find it". This is an easy one my friend! The "......." after "peace and love etc." mean that this lady wishes you absolutely no peace or love! What she ACTUALLY means is "If I my wishes come true.... you are never going to find it".
In short, if you were to mirror all that has been said in her letter, ie. reverse it as though it had been written ABOUT her rather than BY her, you have your answer!
She is questioning her value/worth as a person, her religious beliefs, her sanity, her place within her family structure, and her future hopes.
As you are clearly a charismatic man, who inspires laughter and well being in others, it is not surprising that this young lady has sought you out as a crutch, and desperately wants to be part of what she sees as your 'idylic life'. Indeed she is now quite likely to settle for accumulating some 'trophy' friends in common with you if she cannot achieve that closeness she so obviously craves with you, thereby maintaining a tenuous link with you and standing the (somewhat remote) chance of receiving some diluted attention by 'osmosis'. But relationships with people such as these tend to very emotionally draining and unfulfilling for the unfortunate "crutch"!
Don't be hard on yourself Lord Noel, you made a difficult, but in my opinion, correct decision.
Now... more fun please!"
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline