Lord Noel Helps You Increase your 'Narj Nalij'

Whatto! Peeps..........

If you are ever fortunate enough to visit this part of the world.....
...it's always a good idea to familiarise oneself with the local lingo.
I was lucky enough to be furnished with this useful pamphlet on my arrival which I found invaluable!

"Pronounced Narj it is a City which was invented in 1923 and is kept in Naafuk where it has lived ever since.

Narj has a population of approximately 2500 of which 2438 are related to each other and the rest are classed as Furriners who have decided to settle there from somewhere beyond 'the great Horizon'.

Many people still believe that if you travel past Theford (The Great Horizon) you will fall off the edge of the world and be devoured by DELIA the Great Star Goat.

Narj was built by Nicholas Parsons a man who became famous for inventing some of the best Sales in a hundred years. These Sales attracted many people and Narj rapidly became a sprawling city filled with "Pointless Super Heroes"

These Include:

THE PUPPET MASTER
Special Ability: Hypno Puppets that stun and mesmerise passers by with their inane jumping up and down to Des O Connor Cd's. He is actually a multi-millionaire, having left his successful career as a merchant banker to "give something back to the people"


FLUTE MAN
Special ability: Plays a flute at ranges far beyond those of the human ear Unfortunately the ones that are in the range of the human ear are vastly out of tune.


BAG WOMAN
Special Ability: Knockout Soapy BO. Has a huge array of technical gadgetry hidden away in her shopping trolley full of mysterious bags.


MARIGOLD
Special Ability: Traffic Direction. Although no longer around, MARIGOLD was one of the true Norwich Super Heroes, equipped with a flourescent Jacket or vest and bright yellow marigold gloves, you would find him, in times of National Emergency, defending the City by standing on a traffic roundabout directing the traffic. Unfortunately, quite a few people actually took notice of what he was telling them to do, resulting in the building of Narj Union Insurance Department.


THE INCREDIBLE MARKET TWINS
Special Ability: Flower Selling. Although conceived during a radioactive storm and genetically altered to look identical, these dynamic duo are far from it. Dressed in their costumes, Green & yellow for one, Blue & White for another, these colourful fengibbons are anything but identical.


RADIO MAN
This remarkable chap loves his sport so much he's a wannabee commentator, also known to be a bit of a Karaoke king, using not a microphone but an old 1970's transistor radio glued to one ear, you've gotta love this guy, who provides entertainment when waiting for a bus outside the central big 'D' department store. 

Vocabulary
Here are some useful Narj phrases and words....
....should you wish to 'Teach Yourself Narj':
 
Narj Yoonyun - Major Employer of both Norfolk and Sri-Lankan people
Thaangkoo - Spoken at high speed, used by shop assistants when accepting money.
Howyer gettinarn buh? - Local greeting
Rup Bah - Variation on the above
Cumhair - Please join me 

Shicargoo's - Nightspot on Prince of Wales Road , Narj
Bare - Sold by the pint in Shicargoo's
Issatroight? - Comment to show that attention is being paid to the speaker
Assajook - I'm just kidding
Khazi - Suburb on the western edge of Narj
Tross - Suburb on the southside of Narj
Windum - Small town south of Narj (Sensible abbreviation of it's proper name : Wymundimunidundim)
Loose-tarfed - An East coast fishing port
Card - Traditionally eaten with chips, might well have been caught off Loose-tarfed
KooDee - Discount shop at the top of St Stephens, Narj
Hum Base - DIY store
Fooze - Electrical component on sale at Hum Base
Fool - Petrol or Diesel
Droive ua stedibor - please drive with great care
Gutehecbuh - Gracious! How surprising
Stoopud - Term applied to very silly people
Gaatoo - Sticky chocolate cake
Footoo - Something taken with cameras
Sproiy - Fizzy lemon drink
Boost - To brag about ones achievements
Jargon - Like running, but at a more leisurely pace
Ar yaorrite, bor - Good Morning
Ar yaorrite, bor -  Good Afternoon
Ar yaorrite, bor - Good Evening
Hay yagittin arntagetha? - Hello
Yow sillerowld fule - Comment made to someone displaying "backward" tendancies
How ferarya doin' bor? - How are you?
Loitoose - Bright thing found at Happisburgh
Haysbra - Local pronounciation of the Coastal village with a loitoose
Furriners - People who come from anywhere outside of Thetford
Thasarumman - How Odd!
Blast Bor, yow git a ding-a-tha-lug - Very soon I'm going to hit you
Fare t'middlin - I'm not doing too badly
Bishy Barny Bee - Ladybird
Thasabiton thehuh - It looks uneven to me
Traa'er - a farming vehicle
Dicka - horse
Ha'yer farvagorra dicka, bor? - does your father own a horse
Cumboine airvista - an agricultural vehicle
Carrarud - a place where narj people go to watch their football team lose
Wayooupt'urday - what have you got planned for today?
Oovahair - im over here
Ci'ee - as in Narj Ci'ee: a place for shopping
Nooidare - I don't know
Lullyolejarb - Excellent! 
 

Our Founding Father!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel