Lord Noel on Divine Inspiration

Whatto! Peeps....

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Being someone who loves the idea of recycling (why else would I keep posting and reusing these same old jokes?) it was lovely to read of some Thai Buddhists who have been recycling in the name of the Divine Spirit.....

Its a Wat?.....Yes it is

As you first approach the Wat Pa Maha Chedi Kaew temple, about 370 miles northeast of Bangkok, you could be forgiven for thinking it was yet another beautiful Buddhist Temple set amidst tranquil waters, but this one is better known as “Wat Lan Kuad” or “Temple of Million Bottles”

The beautiful view from Sevenup bridge

  
The Monks have taken lots of used, donated bottles and have recycled them into building material and decorative pieces throughout the temple complex.

A lovely shrine......thanks to booze

 
The temple first started in 1984 when discarded bottles were used to decorate the monks’ shelters, but they soon found they had enough bottles to actually build bigger things out of them.
The green bottles are Heineken while the brown ones are a Thai beer called Chang (which I am happy to report is really delicious and also quite strong).

This Buddhist Monk is calculating all the deposit money he could have got.....

The Monks encouraged the surrounding community to send them more bottles and now they have created a complex of around 20 buildings! Which include the main temple over a lake, a crematorium, some prayer rooms, a hall, a water tower, tourist bathrooms and several small bungalows raised off the ground which serve as the monks quarters.

Here we see the beginning of Top Avenue

Bottle tops are also used extensively in murals like mosaic tiles and also to decorate statues of Buddha.

Things go better with Chang!

 
The beer bottle temple is now on an approved list of eco-friendly sight-seeing tours in southeast Asia. 
Yet another reason to visit beautiful Thailand....
....I'll drink to that!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel - Rules for being a REAL Man

Whatto! Peeps.... 

50 ways to keep your Testosterone flowing.

1. Don't call, ever.

2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her work it out by herself.

3. Lie.

4. Give your Penis a narcissistic and unoriginal name, such as "Spike".

5. If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you posted it to them.

6. Here's a great pickup line, "My girlfriend's pregnant, will you go out with me?

7. Drink alot of Alcohol.

8. Play with yourself then talk about it.

9. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a nice grunt will alway do.

10. Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your fault.

11. Lie.

12. Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.

13. Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help - don't ask. People will think you have no penis.

14. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.

15. Vanity is the most important trait for a man to have. Whenever you pass a reflective surface, check your hair, 

clothing, etc. It's important that you look good at all times.

16. If you don't like a girl, but can't think of a good enough reason why, just come up with trite, meaningless explanations like, "I don't
know. I just don't like her personality."

17. If, you've answered the phone by mistake and GOD FORBID, have to talk to a girl, use only monosyllabic words and noises. 

Bodily noises are permissible.

18. TWO WORDS: Hack and spit.

19. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in his own urine.

20. One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best friend. She will then see what she's missing and love you 

for not giving up on her.

21. Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.

22. Say things like "Wha...?"

23. Don't wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriend picked it out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.

24. Lie.

25. Deny everything. Absolutely Everything.

26. A Good break up line to use is always, "It's not you, it's me."

27. If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her. Because if any of your female friends like you, they'll really want to know.

28. Don't have a clue.

29. If you DO have a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.

30. No means yes.

31. Yes means no.

32. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. Enforce this rule at all times.

33. If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions and locations. Improvise.

34. Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often signifies the end of a relationship.

35. Feelings? What feelings?

36. Tell this to your girl before you have sex, "Don't worry. If you don't have an orgasm, you won't get pregnant.".

37. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at anything, either pretend it's not true or go fight someone.

38. Effeminate men are an unacceptable part of our society. Take it upon yourself to personally eradicate all of them from the planet.

39. DO NOT make decisions about relationships.  If you are backed intoa corner and must make a decision, stall. 

If you still must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape. Example: Question: "Darling, will 

you take me out for a romantic dinner?" Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce each day.".

40. Every sentence that anyone says can be contorted to have sexual meaning.  Do so.

41. At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various genitalia.  If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, 

make sure you make an exact replica of your penis...only bigger.  Measure it and tell everyone how long it is.

42. Lie.

43. "Love" is not in your vocabulary.  Don't even think about saying it....it's just weird.

44. A general rule: If whatever you're doing does not satisfy you completely in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.

45. Diss your girl friend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Diss her again. Repeat cycle until bored.

46. Lie.

47. ALWAYS apologize. But NEVER mean it.

48. If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.

49. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial things like your girlfriend's birthday and eye color.

50. Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't see you.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel 

Lord Noel Explains Wheel Life

Whatto! Peeps..... 

At age 4 success is not peeing yourself.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a driver's license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a driver's license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing yourself

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on 'The Rules of Life' - Created by Women

Whatto! Peeps..... 

Beware of the Lionesses..........especially at Longleat

1. Call.

2. Don't lie.

3. Never use ductape to hold any of her body parts together.

4. If a guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.

5. If a guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rule: No Petting.

6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"

8. Victoria's Secret is good. Anne Summers is bad.

9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.

10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.

11. "Honey," "Darling," and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag," "Lardass," and "Bitch" are bad.

12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a criminal offence - unless you have an agreed codeword.

13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.

14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.

15. Her cooking is always excellent - even when the kitchen is filled with smoke.

16. And that isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.

17. Soap is your friend.

18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm water does not equal clean.

19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.

20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.

21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"

22. Two words: clean socks.

23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.

24. Burping and Farting is not sexy.

25. You're wrong.

26. You're sorry.

27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.

28. Ditto for your discourse on football.

29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning or overhanging sign in a single bound.

30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad

31. Never assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.

32. Never assume that PMS doesn't exist. Ever!

33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, 

and it could change without notice.

34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. Unless you can now clean plaque with your tongue.

35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.

36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.

37. Pick her up at the Airport, Train or Bus Station. Don't whine about it, just do it.

38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.

39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.

40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.

41. Always, always suck up to her brother / Sister / Mother / Father.

42. Think boxers.

43. Think Silk boxers.

44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any other cheesy "anniversary" she creates.

45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.

46. Her haircut is never bad.

47. Don't allow your friends to pick on her.

48. Call.

49. Don't lie.

50. The rules are not fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labour balances everything.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Asks "Can You Guess What It Is Yet?"

Whatto! Peeps....

Some humans have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. 

They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's an nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. 

Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try having it - even for a day.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. 

Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most people today use it for sheer enjoyment most of the time.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have some work to do.

It also provides a great way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction seriously, others treat it as fun with 

no strings attached. 

Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

And if you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It's inappropriate use is currently the biggest cause of Divorce. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. 

If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think about anything else.

Importance has been attached to it that is far greater than it's actual size and influence warrant.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp you behavior. 

Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do that?"

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just keep doing the same things it did before. 

Tallyho! For The Penis!......No sorry I meant The Internet!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Says "Welcome to the Analyst's Couch!"

Whatto! peeps......

Please lie down and make yourself comfortable....but not too comfortable......!

I am delighted to report that I have just received a Clinical Assessment from a well known Psychoanalyst who has responded in relation to our last posting. So I'll pass you straight over to a Professional......

"Hello Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline,
I often read with great delight your anecdotes, which bring a little laughter to the often sombre career I have chosen!  Normally I just enjoy them over a mug of tea and a biscuit and then get back to my day, but on this occasion I feel I should offer my professional opinion (if I may?)

It does not take a psychoanalyst to tell you that your writer is clearly a female & young (aged somewhere between 18 and 29; based on the number of "mans" used here, either that, or perhaps she remembers the days when "man" was a "cool" word to use?")
The entire message is a textbook example of misplaced emotional attachment so I will offer my analysis in stages. 

Her initial statement of "I'm glad you have decided to offload me" is in fact, the complete reverse!..and she is telling you that she is extremely annoyed with you for considering her and her problems to be a burden.
Her anger with you is such that she wants you to feel inadequate and a disappointment to yourself, yet her transparent rantings, reveal her real disappointment is with herself.
"You think you are a spiritual and cool guy".  This is a statement of how SHE feels about you, not what what you think of yourself.
"You are F___king with your own head".   This is a standard phrase often used, meaning, "I am trying to F__K with your head and I am extremely irate that you will not let me"!
"Giving yourself Alzheimers". I note you mentioned that your Father was suffering from this condition, so I would assume this is just plain and simple maliciousness on her part, designed to try to provoke an emotional response from you.

Tactics such as these can be viewed as the actions of a person who is rapidly becoming more desperate, as she fears she is losing control of the situation.
Her phrase "you need to play the game..but couldn't" is indicative of HER need to play a game, in which she firmly believed (and still does) that you were, and will again, be part of. More telling is the use of both present and past tenses, for example "you need to play the game", this is a present tense statement, meaning she is still trying to lure you into her game. The use of word "need" is reflecting her deep desire for you to continue to feed her "need".  It is also an order to you rather than an invitation.   The latter part of "but you couldn't", is attempting to induce a feeling of failure on your part and entice back into playing the "game".
"Wanting to help you on your life path", clearly reveals her intentions; that she wanted to take control of and shape, YOUR future. It would be very dangerous to allow someone so clearly manipulative an emotionally immature to have control of ANYTHING!
"Living with f___ked up people in my life" is a potent declaration of her own failure to make strong, meaningful connections to others, and her need to blame others for her present predicament.
"Ma & Pa stuck up their own arse", This lady feels she has been abandoned by her parents for whatever reason and has deep rooted anger towards them. I feel this where her problem really lies.
"Man I was out there". Is a literal statement, she was, and still is, in limbo. What she was hoping, was to find a kindred "lost spirit", however, it appears that because you are not at all lost that she is envious of your stability and homelife.
"Peace and love to you man ...if you ever find it".  This is an easy one my friend!  The "......." after "peace and love etc." mean that this lady wishes you absolutely no peace or love!  What she ACTUALLY means is "If I my wishes come true.... you are never going to find it".

In short, if you were to mirror all that has been said in her letter, ie. reverse it as though it had been written ABOUT her rather than BY her, you have your answer!  
She is questioning her value/worth as a person, her religious beliefs, her sanity, her place within her family structure, and her future hopes.
As you are clearly a charismatic man, who inspires laughter and well being in others, it is not surprising that this young lady has sought you out as a crutch, and desperately wants to be part of what she sees as your 'idylic life'. Indeed she is now quite likely to settle for accumulating some 'trophy' friends in common with you if she cannot achieve that closeness she so obviously craves with you, thereby maintaining a tenuous link with you and standing the (somewhat remote) chance of receiving some diluted attention by 'osmosis'. But relationships with people such as these tend to very emotionally draining and unfulfilling for the unfortunate "crutch"!
Don't be hard on yourself Lord Noel, you made a difficult, but in my opinion, correct decision.
Now... more fun please!"

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

Lord Noel on Waifs, Strays, Nutters and Bunny Boilers

Whatto! Peeps...

Look into the centre....and R....E.....L......A..........X........

Right.....

It's certainly true that the Internet brings all the strangeos and weirdos out of the wood work.....
Recently someone began talking to me on FACEBOOK......
"That's nice" I thought...
....and they asked me some questions about myself which I answered openly and honestly.
But for some reason....this person then decided that they would make MY life...
...THEIR mission!
....and they were subsequently horrified when I decided to surreptitiously 'Unfriend' them...
The email they sent me as a result of this action can be seen below and  somehow.....when I read it......I feel fully exonerates my actions......
I apologise in advance for their language....
...if you are at all squeamish.....log onto something else NOW!

"I am glad that you have decided to 'off load' me. You are one fucked up guy..for sure.

You think you are a spiritual and cool guy? no man, you are fucking with your own head so bad with your suspicious mind..you will give yourself alzheimers or something....I was trying to help you man..to understand you and help you on your life path....you need to play the game..but you couldn't
I lived with some pretty fucked up people in my life...a ma and pa stuck so far up their own arse they couldn't see their kid..but you --I thought we could talk, understand each other a bit..man was I out there...
Peace and love to you man..if you ever find it." 

I have removed their name (because I am a true gentleman and I would never do that to a Lady no matter how barmy she is)......

....but I do find it interesting that they should choose to include a Medical condition that my Father is currently suffering greatly in the latter stages of........
......so I fear they may have been researching me for longer than I have imagined!

Bear in mind that this is someone who has NEVER even met me!

....and yet for some reason they feel they can speak to me like this!

This is the Delusion that the Internet causes......

...people become familiar so quickly that they suddenly feel that they own you...

...every waif and stray with 'Issues' and delusions clamps onto you and then refuses to let go of their NEW BEST FRIEND!

Amazing isn't it?....and it makes the saying totally true that if you know someone you message them on Facebook......

....but if you REALLY know them....you actually TALK to them.

Best Wishes - and Peace and Love to you all even if you are an 'Unfriend'

Lord Noel

Lord Noel Reveals 'The Three Dreams of a Man'

Whatto! Peeps....

A Man like..........David Beckham?

Do you know the Three dreams of a man?....

To be as handsome as his mother thinks.

To be as rich as his child believes.

and to have as many women as his wife suspects...

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel - Complete Lunacy

Whatto! Peeps...

I've been watching the Moon these last couple of nights....

...absolutely beautiful!

The one benefit of Winter here is the crystal clear skies at night....

...free of the light pollution one gets in the City....

...and although it's freezing cold....

...the Moon can can viewed in all of her magnificent glory....

...Queen of the Night Sky!

Moon Haiku

"On the dark water

the Moon sparkles with silver,

each wave her mirror"

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on Learning Curvatures

Whatto! Peeps......

Even though it is still only January....

.....I have already learned so many new things this year....

I've learned why the Eastern European cleaner we've just hired takes five hours to hoover our house.......because she's a Slovak.
And why I’ve been charged with GBH for injuring a man with sandpaper, when I only intended to rough him up a bit.

And why, after a night of drink, drugs and wild sex my friend Bill woke up to find himself next to the ugliest woman he'd ever seen. Then he realised he had made it home safely.

And why, when I thought I'd show that I am a true gentleman and hold the door open for a young lady.....two minutes later she shouts "will you sod off.  I'm trying to have a sh1t!!” And why my Marriage advice for Kate Middleton would always be - "If you get divorced make sure you always wear a seatbelt..." 
And why two women called at my door asking me questions about what bread I ate, and when I said "white" they gave me a lecture for thirty minutes on the benefits of brown bread because they were Hovis Witnesses.
And why, when a Muslim man was shot in the head with a starting pistol, police are saying it’s definitely race related. And also why, due to the water shortage in Ireland , the swimming baths in Dublin have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

And finally, why I came home one day early in December to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything taken.  What sort of sick person does that to someone’s Advent calendar…?

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel 

Lord Noel Reveals All About Us

Whatto! peeps....

Did you know?.....

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb). 

Go on....you know you want to......

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. 

At last!... Rodney's foot spray seemed to be working

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

298, 299......300!

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.
....Men will still be busy....
....checking their thumbs.

Thumbs Up!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Being Malaproperly Creative

Whatto! Peeps...

 As I was walking through Town yesterday I met Fred, the short sighted Fireman.
Despite the fact that he looked rather scruffy (I assumed he'd dressed himself) he still fancies himself as a bit of a 'ladies man'....
....but I think most women consider him merely as a wolf in cheap clothing.
He told me that his eyesight is now so poor that his duties have been altered....
...and he's only allowed to use a fire distinguisher in an emergency. 
I then nipped into the Art Gallery and was immediately confronted with massive oil paintings of some frightfully gruesome monsters....
...luckily the Artist was on hand to speak about her work.....
...so I asked her about these rather monsterous images.
She told me they were just pigments of her imagination. 
We then had a very interesting discussion about the Artist Michelangelo (about whom she seemed very knowledgeable).....
....and she told me that he was the man who painted the Sixteenth Chapel. 
Then she offered to read my fortune with her Tarot cards.....
....apparently she's had lots of success with her techniques and has lots of local clients....
She can do this because she has extra-century perception.
I declined politely because I had an appointment with an old friend of mine....
....and I am sensible enough to realise that good punctuation means not being late. 
He enjoys my company and often refers to me as 'Lord Noel - the shining wit'!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Makes Comparisons

Whatto! Peeps...

I was just thinking about what a difference 30 years makes! 

1970 Long hair 
2000 Longing for hair 
1970 The perfect high 
2000 The perfect high-yield mutual fund 
1970 Acid and rock 
2000 Acid reflux 
1970 Going to California because it's cool 
2000 Going to California because it's hot 
1970 Growing some pot 
2000 Growing some pot belly 
1970 Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor 2000 Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor 
1970 Popping pills and smoking joints 
2000 Popping pills AND joints 
1970 Being caught with Hustler magazine 2000 Being caught with Hustler magazine 
1970 Killer weed 
2000 Weed killer 
1970 Hoping for a BMW 
2000 Hoping for a BM 
1970 The Grateful Dead 
2000 Dr. Kevorkian 
1970 Going out to a new, hip joint 
2000 Going out to get a new hip joint 
1970 Rolling Stones 
2000 Kidney stones 
1970 Being called into the principal's office 
2000 Calling the principal's office 
1970 Parents begging you to get your hair cut 
2000 Children begging you to get their heads shaved 
1970 Taking acid 
2000 Taking antacid 
1970 Passing the driver's test 
2000 Passing the vision test 
1970 "Groovy" 
2000 "Whatever"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Helps You Increase your 'Narj Nalij'

Whatto! Peeps..........

If you are ever fortunate enough to visit this part of the world.....
...it's always a good idea to familiarise oneself with the local lingo.
I was lucky enough to be furnished with this useful pamphlet on my arrival which I found invaluable!

"Pronounced Narj it is a City which was invented in 1923 and is kept in Naafuk where it has lived ever since.

Narj has a population of approximately 2500 of which 2438 are related to each other and the rest are classed as Furriners who have decided to settle there from somewhere beyond 'the great Horizon'.

Many people still believe that if you travel past Theford (The Great Horizon) you will fall off the edge of the world and be devoured by DELIA the Great Star Goat.

Narj was built by Nicholas Parsons a man who became famous for inventing some of the best Sales in a hundred years. These Sales attracted many people and Narj rapidly became a sprawling city filled with "Pointless Super Heroes"

These Include:

THE PUPPET MASTER
Special Ability: Hypno Puppets that stun and mesmerise passers by with their inane jumping up and down to Des O Connor Cd's. He is actually a multi-millionaire, having left his successful career as a merchant banker to "give something back to the people"


FLUTE MAN
Special ability: Plays a flute at ranges far beyond those of the human ear Unfortunately the ones that are in the range of the human ear are vastly out of tune.


BAG WOMAN
Special Ability: Knockout Soapy BO. Has a huge array of technical gadgetry hidden away in her shopping trolley full of mysterious bags.


MARIGOLD
Special Ability: Traffic Direction. Although no longer around, MARIGOLD was one of the true Norwich Super Heroes, equipped with a flourescent Jacket or vest and bright yellow marigold gloves, you would find him, in times of National Emergency, defending the City by standing on a traffic roundabout directing the traffic. Unfortunately, quite a few people actually took notice of what he was telling them to do, resulting in the building of Narj Union Insurance Department.


THE INCREDIBLE MARKET TWINS
Special Ability: Flower Selling. Although conceived during a radioactive storm and genetically altered to look identical, these dynamic duo are far from it. Dressed in their costumes, Green & yellow for one, Blue & White for another, these colourful fengibbons are anything but identical.


RADIO MAN
This remarkable chap loves his sport so much he's a wannabee commentator, also known to be a bit of a Karaoke king, using not a microphone but an old 1970's transistor radio glued to one ear, you've gotta love this guy, who provides entertainment when waiting for a bus outside the central big 'D' department store. 

Vocabulary
Here are some useful Narj phrases and words....
....should you wish to 'Teach Yourself Narj':
 
Narj Yoonyun - Major Employer of both Norfolk and Sri-Lankan people
Thaangkoo - Spoken at high speed, used by shop assistants when accepting money.
Howyer gettinarn buh? - Local greeting
Rup Bah - Variation on the above
Cumhair - Please join me 

Shicargoo's - Nightspot on Prince of Wales Road , Narj
Bare - Sold by the pint in Shicargoo's
Issatroight? - Comment to show that attention is being paid to the speaker
Assajook - I'm just kidding
Khazi - Suburb on the western edge of Narj
Tross - Suburb on the southside of Narj
Windum - Small town south of Narj (Sensible abbreviation of it's proper name : Wymundimunidundim)
Loose-tarfed - An East coast fishing port
Card - Traditionally eaten with chips, might well have been caught off Loose-tarfed
KooDee - Discount shop at the top of St Stephens, Narj
Hum Base - DIY store
Fooze - Electrical component on sale at Hum Base
Fool - Petrol or Diesel
Droive ua stedibor - please drive with great care
Gutehecbuh - Gracious! How surprising
Stoopud - Term applied to very silly people
Gaatoo - Sticky chocolate cake
Footoo - Something taken with cameras
Sproiy - Fizzy lemon drink
Boost - To brag about ones achievements
Jargon - Like running, but at a more leisurely pace
Ar yaorrite, bor - Good Morning
Ar yaorrite, bor -  Good Afternoon
Ar yaorrite, bor - Good Evening
Hay yagittin arntagetha? - Hello
Yow sillerowld fule - Comment made to someone displaying "backward" tendancies
How ferarya doin' bor? - How are you?
Loitoose - Bright thing found at Happisburgh
Haysbra - Local pronounciation of the Coastal village with a loitoose
Furriners - People who come from anywhere outside of Thetford
Thasarumman - How Odd!
Blast Bor, yow git a ding-a-tha-lug - Very soon I'm going to hit you
Fare t'middlin - I'm not doing too badly
Bishy Barny Bee - Ladybird
Thasabiton thehuh - It looks uneven to me
Traa'er - a farming vehicle
Dicka - horse
Ha'yer farvagorra dicka, bor? - does your father own a horse
Cumboine airvista - an agricultural vehicle
Carrarud - a place where narj people go to watch their football team lose
Wayooupt'urday - what have you got planned for today?
Oovahair - im over here
Ci'ee - as in Narj Ci'ee: a place for shopping
Nooidare - I don't know
Lullyolejarb - Excellent! 
 

Our Founding Father!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on the Norfolk Beachscape

Whatto! Peeps.....

There's a special part of the Norfolk Coastline.....

....which holds many good memories for me.....

...and I love the way it's beauty changes with each passing season....

Those of you familiar with the area may well have visited this beautiful Medieval Barn for tea and scones during the summer months.....

....when it's giant framed interior bustles with the voices of excited tourists....

....but at this time of year this old flint giant lies quietly....
....a sleepy hollow....
....and now it is the beach nearby that I really enjoy visiting most.....

The bleak Winter sunlight gives the whole area a fresh and ethereal feel...

Clear bright skies.....
....with the merciless sea breeze cutting deep into ones fleshy parts..
..walking along the miles of beautifully secluded sand....
....enjoying that blissful isolation....

...save for the arrival of some very special guests...

...who make a visit here now....
...even more enjoyable....

For this is the breeding season for seals....

....and although the beach is temporarily out of bounds whilst the nursing mothers carry out their work...

....the sights and sounds from the beach are a joy to behold....
....from a vantage point up on the grassy dunes.

Another year......

....another generation.....

...and all the new adventures that await them....

Something those Summer Tourists definitely miss out on.....

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel