Lord Noel Describes The Power of Hypnosis

Whatto! Sick people..........

My good Lady wife came home recently (as she is prone to do) and told me...............

"Lord Noel.......Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?"

"Yes" I immediately replied to her - in an attentive manner

"Well" she said....... "they're gone!"

"No more headaches?" I ask in disbelief........

......."Well what on earth happened?"

My good Lady wife replied "A friend referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror............... stare at myself............. and repeat: 'I do not have a headache' 'I do not have a headache' 'I do not have a headache'

"And?" I added expectantly............

"And it worked! The headaches are all gone!" she exclaimed triumphantly

"Well, that is wonderful!" I proclaimed.

My good Lady wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few weeks.............. why don't YOU go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

I thought for a moment.............

Maybe she was right.............

I had caught one of my lower appendages in the shed door recently.........

.....but I couldn't continually blame that one incident for reducing my sexual activity from five times a day to a mere twice!

Something HAD to be done!

So............Reluctantly............I agree to try it!

I soon had my appointment (thank God for BUPA!)...............

and afterwards I made my way home (as I am prone to do).............

........Once there I rip off all my clothes.................

........pick up my good Lady wife...............

............ and carry her through to the bedroom!

Wallop!

I then put her on the bed and say...............

"Don't move, I'll be right back!"

I go into the bathroom and come back a few moments later...............

............jumping into bed and make passionate love to my wife like never before!

Afterwards (several hours later)..........my good Lady wife says, "WOW! Lord Noel! - that was wonderful!" And I say, "Don't move! I will be right back."

I then go back into the bathroom, come back again and 'Round Two' commences!

......which - although I say so myself - was even better than the first time!

My wife sits up and her head is spinning.................

"OH MY GOD! LORD NOEL!" she proclaims loudly..............

I again say, "Don't move, I'll be right back!"

And with that, I go back in the bathroom.................

But this time, my good Lady wife quietly follows me to the bathroom, she sees me standing at the mirror saying .... 'She's not my wife' 'She's not my wife' 'She's not my wife'

My funeral service will be held Saturday.



Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel