What ho! Pepys...
In these uncertain times...
...I would like to reassure people that what is taking place all over the world...
...is perfectly normal!
It's something that NEEDS to happen...
...for the 'common good'.
The 'Economic Cycle' as it is so aptly named...
...has a tendency to reoccur periodically.
That is the nature of 'cycles'.
And lo!...it is happening again - as foretold in reputable Economic journals of late.
More than anything else I want to assure you that...
...there is no cause for alarm.
No need to start doing anything...
Once a few 'corrective' adjustments have been carried out...
...the status quo will return soon enough.
All that needs to take place is an 'asset realignment'....
...because it has become obvious that a lot of valuable assets....
...appear to be currently owned by relatively poor people.
This won't do.
These assets should be handed over immediately...
...to those who should rightfully posses them...
...people who know only too well the burden of massive wealth...
...and are therefore expertly equipped to deal with yet more of it.
These are assets that would otherwise be squandered by poor people..
...who are TERRORISTS!
So we will be using the valuable and dedicated 'Armed Forces' of the world...
...to make them give it back.
And here at home...
...the banking 'Institutions' will be rectifying the mistakes that have been made over the last few years.
That mortgage that you thought you could afford to buy your new home?...
...Mistake!
Haha...don't worry!
We'll take back the property and leave you with the 'debt admin' side to sort out....
...no need to waste such a valuable asset on someone who can't afford it is there?
Meanwhile, don't forget to 'Max up' those credit cards!
That is - after all - what's keeping our wonderful economy alive.
Anyone who refuses to use their credit card at times like this...
...could easily be regarded as a 'Traitor'...
...or if done deliberately...
...perhaps even a commercial 'Terrorist' against our wonderful consumer society.
Needlees to say...
...whilst all this commotion is going on...
...the 1% of 'absurdly rich' people will once again be in possession of 99% of the Worlds wealth...
...and then we can all begin again.
It's called 'Economic Recovery'or
'Redistribution of Wealth'
'Redistribution of Wealth'
Remember - Rich people have baggage too!
It's just that they can afford to pay people to carry it for them.
Stay calm and carry on.
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
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