Whatto! Peeps...
Now that one of my gorgeous daughters is old enough (and keen enough) to want to play golf, I took time to sit her down and tell her this true Golfing story - exactly as it happened to me...
I was on the first part of a dog leg to the twelfth hole when I hit my ball into the woods. When I went to search for my ball I found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups.
I was trying to get my ball back into play on the fairway but kept mishitting the ball and ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden? POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared!
She said to me, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life... better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!'
Then POOF!... she was gone!
After I'd recovered from the shock and checked my hip flask to see exactly how much Brandy I'd swallowed since the tee orf, I suddenly remembered my golfing partner Algie and shouted out to him, 'Algie!... where are you?'
Algie yelled back 'I'm over here in the pussy willows.'
I immediately shouted back, 'For Goodness sake Algie! DON'T SWING!!!'
I was trying to get my ball back into play on the fairway but kept mishitting the ball and ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden? POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared!
She said to me, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life... better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!'
Then POOF!... she was gone!
After I'd recovered from the shock and checked my hip flask to see exactly how much Brandy I'd swallowed since the tee orf, I suddenly remembered my golfing partner Algie and shouted out to him, 'Algie!... where are you?'
Algie yelled back 'I'm over here in the pussy willows.'
I immediately shouted back, 'For Goodness sake Algie! DON'T SWING!!!'
And that's how I came to enjoy a low fat diet AND discover that Mother Nature DOES exist!
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
