Lord Noel asks "Do You Do Voodoo?"

Whatto! Peeps.....

I was away on a long business trip, so I thought I'd buy my wife a nice present....
....something to keep her occupied. 
I went from one shop to another, unable to find anything remotely suitable and finally made my way to a sex shop and explained my situation. 
The man there said, "Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except...the Voodoo Penis!"

"The what?" I said

The man repeated "The Voodoo Penis" and pulled out what looked to me to be an ordinary dildo.

I laughed, and said, "It looks just like any other dildo!"

The man then pointed to the door and said, "Voodoo Penis, door!"

The Voodoo penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said "Voodoo Penis, box!" and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

I was so impressed - I immediately bought it. 
I sent it home, gift wrapped, to my wife with a note explaining what it was. 
Apparently after a few days, my wife received the Voodoo Penis.

She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo Penis, crotch." 
The Voodoo penis shot to her crotch. 
She told me later that it was absolutely incredible! 
After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. 
She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in the 'on' position. 
(I had neglected to tell her how to turn it off!). 
So she put her clothes on, got into her car and started for the hospital.

On the way there she had another incredibly intense orgasm which made her swerve all over the road. 
A passing police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, she said "I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me..."

"Yeah right.." the officer said, looking down at her for a second or two in disbelief whilst reaching for his pocketbook and pen.
Then shaking his head, he then bent down to speak to her through the driver's window, and continued, "Voodoo Penis, my ass...!"


Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel