Lord Noel On Growing Up

Whatto! Pepys....

I was talking to my Grandson as he sat at my kitchen table with me. He is 5 years old and I couldn't help noticing how much he'd grown up recently.
Then he suddenly asked me "Can I have a nana Grandpops?"
I was a little surprised by this childish request so I replied "Nana has a grown up name and that name is 'banana' so let me hear you saying the grown up word instead please!"
He paused, looking a little surprised but continued "Can I have a banana please Grandpops?"
I smiled and said "Yes Alphonse! Well done! You may have a banana!"
Bouyed up by my praise he then asked me "Can we go on a choo-choo today Grandpops?"
I again smiled patiently and said "You mean 'Train' - that's the grown up word for choo choo - so let me hear you using the grown up word instead please."
He kindly obliged by repeating "Can we go on a 'Train' today please Grandpops?"
I smiled broadly, seeing that my education had been so effective for a second time "Well done Alphonse! That's correct!...and VERY grown up - you are soooo clever! But it's raining today and not very nice out so we won't be going out, but I will read you a story if you like? Would you like that?" I asked.
He nodded and smiled broadly, looking very happy with my suggestion.
I turned to look at the pile of childrens books he'd been thumbing through already and asked him "Okay then Alphonse.....which one of these books would you like Grandpops to read for you?"
Alphonse paused momentarily, as if to give my question some careful consideration - clearly he was trying to make sure his request was couched in the grown up language that I so eagerly sought! Then he pulled out one book from the centre of the pile and said "This one Grandpops!"
"Oooooh lovely!" I said "And what is the name of that book Alphonse?"
"Winnie the Shit!" he replied.


Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel