Lord Noel On Choice

Whatho! Pepys...

Here's an excerpt from a letter I recently received from an avid reader....

"Hello Lord Noel,
I was in the bath washing myself the other day (details redacted) and I found myself wondering if you have ever had any embarrassing situations arising from your unusual name?
My name is Nathanial Knob and I married a Cecilia Puller but we changed our married surname to avoid any obvious comical problems caused by conjoining them. It's now Wankfiddler.
Yours brazenly N. Wankfiddler OBE"


"Whatho! Nath old chap,
Thank you for your question and the attached photographs which I had to sit down to view as they honestly took my breath away (especially the one captioned "Wears the soap!"). Firstly I want you to know that your letter has been forwarded (together with the photographs) to our local Police and also our branch of 'Chicken and Fowl Lovers' who are like-minded adult persons who regularly meet up to discuss the kind of things you were attempting to demonstrate in paragraph 6.
But to answer your question - I think life is a series of choices that we all make every day from the moment we wake up - many things being completely out of our control. For example, I've just been for a walk and I saw 48 magpies! According to the song (which I've just researched on line) this means I will bang my lower shin on a small inlaid side table next Tuesday.
Hope this helps
Tallyho!
Best Wishes
Lord Noel"