Monday 15 August 2011

Lord Noel's advice to Men on BBQs

Whatto! Peeps....

We are finally in the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh ones memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it is probably the only type of cooking that a real man will do, essentially because there is an element of danger involved. 
When a man volunteers to do the Barbeque, usually on a Saturday, the following chain of events should be put into motion: 

Barbeque Routine 
1) The woman buys the food. 
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. 
Here comes the important part: 
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. 
More routine.... 
5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. 
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. 
Important again: 
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. 
More routine..... 
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table. 
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 
And most important of all: 
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.... 

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

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