Saturday 23 August 2008

Lord Noel On Selling MORE To The Masses

Whatto! My virtual friends!!!!!!!!


.........here are some MORE actual label instructions on consumer goods and some fanciful billboards that may one day come true:

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required.


On a can of pepper spray used for self defense: May irritate eyes.


On a Frisbee: Warning: may contain small parts.


In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

On a packet of cashew nut pieces: Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

Directions for mosquito repellant: Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom: Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

In a lift in a Japanese hotel: Push this button in case anything happens.

On a toilet cleaning brush: Do not use orally.

On a can of Spray paint: Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote: Not Dishwasher safe.

On a blowtorch: Not to be used for drying hair.

On a washing machine inn a launderette: No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as Ice Cream topping.


On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer. 



On a box of fireworks: Do not put in mouth. 



On the packaging for a wrist watch: Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. 



In a dishwasher manual: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher. 



On a toaster: Do not use underwater. 



On a mattress: Do not attempt to swallow.

Tallyho! Everyone!
Best wishes - Lord Noel

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