Saturday 23 August 2008

Lord Noel On Selling EVEN MORE To The Masses

Whattttto! .........and welcome to the FINAL part of this occasional seies on Advertising. Here are some actual label instructions that appeared on some consumer goods together with more honest billboards:

On Sears hair dryer:Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.


On a bar of Dial soap:Directions: Use like regular soap. 



On some Swanson frozen dinners:Serving suggestions: Defrost. 



Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:Do not turn upside down. 



On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating. 



On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body. 



On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. 



On Nytol Sleep Aid:Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only. 



On a Japanese food processor:Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: Contains nuts. 



On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. 



On a child's Superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. 



On a Swedish chain saw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. 



On a toboggan:Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions. 



On a knife sharpener:Caution: knives are sharp. 



On shin pads for cyclists:Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. 



On a take away coffee cup:Caution: Hot beverages are hot. 



Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
Well........ I think that's done Advertising for now.........

Tallyho!
Best wishes - Lord Noel

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