Lord Noel On Austrian Police

Whatto! Travellers..........

These are the men who are going to save the planet!

Yes.......fine, upstanding, Austrian Police.

Specifically, the police in the City of Graz, Austria.......

...... because they do not like it one bit.....

........ when a person they are questioning gets 'funny' with them.

Hansi Sporer, a 20 year old native Austrian man, recently felt the full wrath of the Austrian Police.........

.....when he was given an 'on the spot' fine of £45 by the Officers..............

.....for breaking wind!

Apparently Sporer was in the process of being questioned by Police in the street when he strained one orf........

...very loudly.......

....causing passers-by in the street to laugh........

.....and the Police Officers involved to feel immediately humiliated.

A Police spokesperson later said "He clearly intended to make a laughing stock of the Officers........this was no accident and he got what he deserved"

But I think we know the REAL reason..........

....if EVERYONE behaved in this way......

....the accumulated greenhouse gases......

....would soon make Austria as hideously polluted as ..........

....somewhere dreadful.........

.....like Slough.

No!

The Police MUST help us all......

........ to save the Planet.......

.....against Pollution Terrorists like Sporer.....

....and we should be having NONE of it!

That's why 'The Safety and Security Act' allows Austrian police to issue instant fines to people who insult or attack them.....

...with noxious words or gases...

..the signs are quite clear........

Lawyers for Sporer, from Frohnleiten, near Graz, argued that his outburst had been accidental. "This was an abuse of a serious law intended to protect police officers from serious attacks by members of the public not some trivial incident,"

But, in the end Mr. Sporer opted for the easier (and cheaper) solution of paying the fine rather than fighting his defence..........

.........deciding to put this whole gaseous incident........ behind him.

Might I suggest that another suitable punishment for similar offenders would be two weeks solitary confinement..........

....wearing this snazzy outfit..........

....which is designed to allow the wearer......

.......the full enjoyment of ALL their personal odours.

I guarantee there'd be NO re-offending.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline