Whatto! Peeps....
As an Ex SAS member I am obviously kept on a reserve list and can be called on the carry out duties for the British Government at very short notice.
This can be a great concern to my good Lady wife as she doesn't know exactly where the operation is taking place and won't receive any more details until I return.
I was recently assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghanistan Desert as their Captain. During my first inspection of the outfit, I noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
I went to my Sergeant and asked him "Why is that camel kept there?".
I went to my Sergeant and asked him "Why is that camel kept there?".
The nervous Sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on this post and no women, and sir, sometimes the men have urges..... That's why we have Molly The Camel."
I was slightly taken aback but immediately tried to put myself into the men's shoes and realised that I would have to take a more diplomatic approach to the problem.
I was slightly taken aback but immediately tried to put myself into the men's shoes and realised that I would have to take a more diplomatic approach to the problem.
"I can't say that I condone this" I responded, "but I certainly understand about 'urges', so the camel can stay."
About a month later, I began having urges of my own......
About a month later, I began having urges of my own......
On night, crazy with passion, I finally asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to my tent.
I then put a ladder behind the camel, climbed up the ladder......
I then put a ladder behind the camel, climbed up the ladder......
....and I'm ashamed to say, pulled my pants down and had wild, insane sex with Molly the camel.
It wasn't obviously something I would normally chose to do....
....but the stress of war and the unbearable heat were certainly contributing factors.....
....and in some strange way I felt, through my actions, that I may now have bonded with the rest of the Unit.
Anyway, when I was done, I asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"No, not really, sir" he replied.....
Anyway, when I was done, I asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"No, not really, sir" he replied.....
"They usually just ride the camel into town to where the girls are."
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel