Lord Noel On Lifting Oneself Up

What ho! Pepys..

..Lord Noel here.....

Lifts or elevators as they are also known, are great fun aren't they?....
There are so many things one can do to while away the moments taken up by a ride in one.....
Here are just some of the ways that I like to have....

Fun In An Elevator:

1. Open up your briefcase, purse or pocket and while peering inside ask: "Have you got enough air in there?"

2. Grimace painfully whilst smacking your forehead and muttering: "When will the voices ever stop?!"

3. Whistle the ASDA theme over and over, and slap your bum at the end of each round.

4. Offer to sell other passengers biscuits from a packet you've just opened.

5. On a long ride, sway wildly from side to side saying "Woah!...nearly lost it that time!".

6. Greet everyone getting into the elevator with a smile and a warm handshake and say "Just call me Admiral!"

7. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh oh, motion sickness.... not now!"

8. Meow and purr occasionally wiping your clenched fists against the sides of your nose.

9. Wear a sock puppet on your hand and ask other passengers through it "Are you having a nice day?".

10. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers "This is my "personal space."

Have fun!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel