What ho! Pepys.....
I was in a splendid restaurant last night with my lovely Lady wife when suddenly a beautiful woman sitting at the bar began to cough loudly.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress.
I turned to look at her and saw the Barman handing her a glass of water whilst asking her "Can't you swallow?".
The woman signaled "No", desperately shaking her head as she continued to cough.
"Can't you breath?" he asked, looking increasingly concerned.
The woman doubled over and shook her head - clearly signalling "NO!!!"
With that, I knew it was time to take action!
Once the Oxygen supply has been cut orf from the brain it may only be seconds before unconsciousness can kick in and serious brain damage will follow!
I leapt from my seat and landing just behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, and yanked down her panties....
....then I ran my tongue expertly up and down the crack of her bum.
This action put the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and across the bar in front of her...
...and with that she gasped loudly and began to breathe again!
I turned and smiled and waved to the growing applause from the patrons within the restaurant.....
.......and I was clearly very happy with myself and the successful outcome of my prompt actions.
I swaggered proudly back to our table and took a deep, satisfying swig of my twenty five year old Cognac.
My wife (who was also clapping) said to me in admiration, "Lord Noel, I'd heard of that Hind Lick Maneuver but that's the first time I ever seen anybody doing it."
"Don't worry Lady Jacqueline" I smiled......
...."I'll teach it to you - when we get home!"
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
No comments:
Post a Comment