Lord Noel Poses Some Questions That Simply MUST Be Answered!

What ho! Philosophers..................

There are a number of questions that have been bothering me for some time now........

I know Gordon Brown is preoccupied with the economy and suchlike............

But as our so-called 'leader' I turned to him when I recently sent him orf........

...... my list of "Questions that simply MUST be answered"!....................

Is it possible to cry under water? .......(especially if your chain comes orf!)

Just how important does a person have to be before they are considered 'assassinated' instead of just 'murdered'?

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?

What disease did ham actually have before it was 'cured'?

How is it that a man was put on the moon (if you believe such things) before we realised it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

If a deaf person has to go to court, should it still be called a 'hearing'?

How is it that people are IN a movie, but ON TV?

When people pay to go up tall buildings why do they then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? .......................Wallop! by the way!

Why do toasters always have a setting on them that burns the toast to a horrible carbonated crisp, which no decent human being could possibly want to eat?

If 'corn oil' is made from corn, and 'vegetable oil' is made from vegetables, what is 'baby oil' made from?

Why do the 'Alphabet song' and 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' have the same tune?

And why did you find yourself just trying to sing those two songs?

And how is it that when you blow in a dog's face it irritates them but when you take them for a drive, they have to stick their head out the window?

(........To date I have received NO reply!)

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel