Lord Noel's Holiday Employment

Whatto! students...............

I remember my time in University with great fondness..............
.......and during the holiday breaks it was customary to try to gain some sort of employment to carry one through the next term.............
I happened to 'get lucky' one summer when I applied for a job at the local zoo.............
Little did I know that their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before......

.............. and they wondering how to maintain 'business as usual'................
I was told that they would pay handsomely for me to dress up in a gorilla skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people would keep coming to the zoo!................
It was certainly a novel idea and immediately appealed to my sense of quirkiness.............
So they helped me into a very convincing skin suit and I went out into 'my' cage...............
It was extremely hot and stuffy inside the suit but the people all cheered when they saw me and that encouraged me to play to the audience even more................
I got so into my role that I started putting on a show................ jumping around............ beating my chest...........
You know.............
............The sort of things that Gorillas are famous for!
During one particularly acrobatic attempt I completely lost my balance and crashed through some safety netting....... landing right in the middle of the lions enclosure!
I must admit I just lay there for a few moments..............
........ feeling completely stunned from my fall.................
Then I heard the growl of a nearby Lion!!!.............
I can tell you...... I was completely and utterly terrified!!.......

And as the Lion raced across the enclosure towards me..............
............I was in a blind panic and began shouting from inside the suit "Help, Help, Help!"
The lion thudded against me with its paws on his chest knocking me onto my back................
...........and as I lay there...........
.......winded from this second fall..............
.......feeling the weight of it on top of me...............
........... I heard his breath hissing...........
....... "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel