Old Ralph

Whatto! Seamen.........
I was in the pub last night and I finally got chatting to a Gentleman who goes by the name of 'Old Ralph'...................
He's what you would call "An Old Man of the Sea"...............
..........with his sun bleached worn leather eyepatch and his wooden leg..................
................and his hooked hand...............
He's more like something from a Pirate Film!
I've been meaning to talk to him for such a long while now.............
I knew he'd a few great tales to tell!
And after a few Navy Rums he's happy to talk all night long............
He is such a joy to listen to as he recounts his many adventures on the seas............
I was obviously curious so I asked old Ralph "So Ralph,tell me - how did you end up with the peg-leg?"..............
Ralph replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off"................
"Wow!" I said in astonishment............
"What about the hook"?
"Well...", replied Old Ralph, "We were pulling in the nets - heavy laden with fish - and it looked like it was about to split so I grabbed hold and I got caught in the pully and it cut my hand clean off."
"Incredible!" I remarked..............
"How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye", replied Old Ralph.............
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" I asked.
"Well..." said Old Ralph,
.............."That was my first day with the hook!"
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel