Lord Noel on Furry Friends

Whato! Dear Nature lovers.................

Those of you who know me also know that there's nothing I love more than getting 'at one' with Nature..............

......... the sun on my skin..........

.....the cool breeze in my hairs...............

....and beautiful creatures all around me..........

Those of you who have had the benefit of staying here at Virtual Manor will appreciate the fine selection of wildlife that we are lucky enough to have on our doorstep..........

In particular the playful squirrels.............

........who we all know and love....................

From time to time (particlarly this time of year) their energy levels rise.............

......and they engage in playful combat pursuits...............

.........developing valuable skills that will hold them in good stead in adult life......

They also have an innate ability to hide their nuts...............

......and some even have additional skills..............


............... that take them to a whole new level...............



I couldn't help thinking..........


What if these skills were able to be put to some useful purpose?!............



Well I am pleased to report that the time has come.............dear reader...............

............where I can reveal some exciting developments...................


......that have been classified as 'Top Secret' for some time now.............


....but I happen to know several of the chaps at the MOD!!........(Mammals On Drugs)


and can report that The War in Afganistan is taking a turn for the better...............


Thanks to recent help from our HUMBLE Squirrels!!!!!!!!!



Yes!!!........


The Freedom of Information Act has allowed me to delve into the MOD archives.............


and discover that for some time now..............


British Squirrels have been training hard in weapons use...............




Readying themselves for the time when they will be posted inside the 'Combat' Zone.................

Here a member of the Light Arms Divisions proudly poses with his 'state of the art' personal issue weapon.............

....capable of firing up to 400 Acorns a minute across enemy lines..............




And already several 'unsung Heros' have emerged...........


Here's Lance Corporal 'Chewy' McNuts...........




Who singlehandedly took out a small encampment in a strongly defended enclave...........


.....and Sergeant 'Acorn' Muncher......... shown here proudly receiving his latest bravery award for further 'front line' action..............

I was glad to see that these brave soldiers are allowed some 'downtime' to relax and unwind with their colleagues............

But I also found out through my investigations that so-called 'NEW' and 'ADVANCED' methods are also being employed!!........


Here an elite fighting unit come to grips with the latest issue weapon..............

Light Sabers!!!!.............

One of the crack SAS (Squirrels And Squirrels) unit showed me the extent to which his unit were prepared to go to ensure Victory was ours!!!......


(Obviously for security reasons his face and name have had to be protected whilst he is on active duty)..............

These Brave soldires are able to use their stealth and size to effectively work .......

.......behind enemy lines..................


Gathering vital intelligence..............

which has helped the entire war effort immeasurably!!!..............




The Battle being to try to stay one step ahead of this RUTHLESS enemy!!!........


And this unscrupulous enemy aren't afraid of trying some VERY Dirty tricks indeed...........

This photograph shows how Afganistan squirrels have been seen employing some new technology previously only seen in Duracell Bunnies!!.........

And the desperate enemy have even resorted to 'Genetic Mutation'!!! in order to try to gain a strategic advantage.........................

Heres an image of one such enemy soldier who was captured after a bitter skirmish..........

I asked one of our brave lads whether he had any message for the 'Folks back Home'...........

.....and he just said (in the typical 'gutsy' way in which these brave combatants converse).......

....."Just tell them we're the BOLLICKS!"........

............and indeed they ARE!!............

Keep SAFE lads!!!.......

Do YOU know any animals whose bravery should be recognised?

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

Dress With Finesse