Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Lord Noel Introduces The New Lodger

Whatto! Peeps

We recently took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. Goodness knows why....but I chose her from a bunch of photographs we'd been sent.....she seemed like the best of a bad bunch.
We've been doing a lot of DIY here recently and I have proved my prowess in that department already by falling off the bally ladder! I remembered afterwards that my lovely wife had positioned it on a dust sheet that slipped out of the way whilst I was up it!....
Luckily I didn't die otherwise she would have been a very rich lady!
Anyway, our new lodger asked if she could have a bath, and Lady Jacqueline told her we didn't currently have a bath as the bathroom was undergoing some extensive repairs, although if she wanted to, she could use an old tin bath in front of the fire........ 

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," Lady J told her. 

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.... 

After I had gone to the pub for my darts match, Lady J filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She told me later that she was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any public hair. I didn't believe her, so she said: 
"Next Monday, don't go to darts. Wait in the back garden and I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.." 

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, Lady Jacqueline asked her: 

"Do you shave?" 

"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?" 

"Oh, yes," said Lady J, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really quite generously endowed in the 'follicational department'. 

Then the girl went to bed and I came indoors, and Lady J asked: 

"Did you see it?" 

"Yes," I said, "but why did you have to go and show her YOURS?!"

"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before!" 
 
"I know," I said, "but the bally darts team hadn't!"...

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel