Lord Noel Explains How To Speak 'Man'

Whatto! Everyone...

...Lord Noel here....

Following our article on 'How to speak Woman'....
...my good Lady wife has shown me the correspondence course she recieved on 'How to Speak Man'....
....and it's really quite insightful....


"I can't find it,"
REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"That's women's work,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and nobody's going to thank me for it."

"Will you marry me?"

REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't work the washing machine, and I've run out of peanut butter."

"It's a guy thing,"
REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational or logical thought pattern connected with it, and so you have no chance at all of making it make sense."

"Can I help with dinner?"
REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't my dinner already on the table?"

"It would take too long to explain,"
REALLY MEANS, "I have absolutely no idea how it works."

"I'm getting alot more exercise lately,"
REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late,"
REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a complete maniac."

"Take a break, Darling, you're working too hard,"
REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear the football over the vacuum cleaner."

Hope this helps

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline