Lord Noel On Cooking

Whatto! Pepys...

This morning I found my tiny letterbox had been stretched out of shape by the huge deluge of 'advice seeking' letters which had been forced through it's tight little opening.
I will endeavour to get through them all in the fullness of time as part of my service to the community as your FREE online Agony Uncle!

Here's a letter from one dear follower...

"Dear Lord Noel
In your capacity as a well known and Internationally Acclaimed Chef can you please tell me long I'm supposed to age food in the fridge before I throw it out?
Yours toxically
Ivor Growth"

"Dear Ivor,
How sweet of you to mention my impressive Culinary Credentials!
(which are outlined in far more prosaic detail within the pages of my wonderful autobiography along with many glamourous and original recipes like 'Sweet and sour porcupine balls' and 'Flambeed tortoise in eel lung soup' and, of course, my Celebrated "Round beefy things" also regularly featured by the American press for their fabulous value!)

I must admit that the whole subject of food is very confusing to the uninitiated! For example - where on earth do you put your food when you ARE finally ready to eat it? On the table? On a plate? In your mouth? The sheer number of choices available can soon make one entirely baffled!
I remember the first time I tried to cook that well known Cambodian dish of 'crushed frogs larynx in quail's piss'... the recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but then I couldn't open it because the door was facing the wall!
Hope this helps.
Tallyho!"

Best Wishes - Lord Noel"