Lord Noel's Scottish Yarn

Whatto! Pepys...

Once upon a time an extraordinarily handsome Scotsman decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman.
Shortly thereafter he met a local crofter who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the crofter, asking for permission to marry one of them.
"They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place," said the crofter. "Look 'em over and pick the one you want."
The Scotsman dated the first daughter.
The next day the crofter asked for the young man's opinion.
"Well," said the Scotsman, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice, pigeon-toed."
The crofter nodded and suggested the Scotsman date one of his other daughters; so the Scotsman went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the crofter again asked how things went.
"Well," the Scotsman replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell, cross-eyed."
The crofter nodded and suggested he date his third daughter to see if things might be better.
So the Scotsman did.
The next morning the Scotsman rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry."
So they were wed right away.
Months later the baby was born. When the Scotsman visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human being you could imagine. In fact he actually looked a bit Welsh. So he rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen.

"Well," explained the farmer, "she was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell, pregnant when you met her."

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel