Life Lessons from Movies

What ho! Pepys...

As a regular Movie goer in my youth I can honestly say that they taught me everything I know about the World today and particularly people and how they will behave. Goodness knows how many times this information has saved my life! Now it may just save yours too! You're welcome!

- Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

-- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

-- All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

-- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

-- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off even while scuba diving.

-- You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

-- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

-- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

-- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

-- If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

-- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

-- Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: EnterPassword Now.

-- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

-- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

-- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps


Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel