What ho! Pepys...
Apparently there is a Recession taking place as I speak. It is having a huge impact on everyone including me. I have been forced to restrict myself to a mere two cases of Champagne this month!
If you believe you may have been affected by this Recession but are not sure I have identified a number of tell tale signs to look out for. Any of these indicators are a sign that the Recession is starting to bite:
You get pre-declined for a credit card in the mail.
CEO's start playing miniature golf.
Oil Companies begin laying off Politicians.
You see a Mormon with only one wife.
The bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," so you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's begin selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopts a child from America.
Parents in Kensington sack two of their nannies and suddenly learn their children's names.
A truckload of Americans are caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary Clinton travel together, they actually share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is managed by Somali pirates
American Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
Motorola and Enron merge to form a new company called Moron.
Of course the best way to make sure your life isn't affected by a Recession is to change the emphasis in your life AWAY from cash to something much more valuable instead.
Let me know how that goes Pepys! Har har!
Tallyho! Best Wishes - Lord Noel
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