Lord Noel on Meeting A Self Employed Solicitor

Whatto! Peeps....

When I was younger, far younger than today....I walked into a bar on a far away country and spotted an overweight, disgustingly ugly man accompanied by an amazingly beautiful woman. I asked the barman "I say, how did that fat ugly chap get a lady like that?". 
The barman replied, "Well Lord Noel - she's a prostitute." 
I was stunned "How did he meet her?" 
The barman explained "Well she's here every evening at 7pm sharp, be here and you'll get your chance." 
So the next day I went in again and saw the woman sitting at the bar alone. 
I sat down beside her and said "I'm sorry to ask, but I heard you were a prostitute, is it true?" 
The woman replied "Its ok and yes... I am." 
"Well, well",  I said, "how much would you charge for an 'hj' then?" 
The woman replied "£800." 
"£800?! Goodness me lady" I said "don't you think thats a bit too much?" 
The woman said "Come to the window I want to show you something" She took me to the window and pointed to a sparkling red Ferrari outside. 
"You see that Ferrari?" 
"Yes, what about it?" 
"I paid for it by giving 'hj's." 
"Good Lord! You must give one hell of an 'hj'." 
So I paid her the money and got the best (up to that point in my life) hj ever, even my legs began to shake and shiver! 
The next day I came back and asked her "How much for a bj?" 
"£1900" said the prostitute. 
"Holy Mackerel" I exclaimed, "thats a lot of money" 
"Let me show you something" she said. 
She took me back to the window and pointed to two skyscrapers in the city. "You see those skyscrapers?" 
"Yes." 
"I paid for those giving bjs." 
"WOW! That's one helluva bj!" I replied.
So, to cut a long story short, I paid her the money and got the best (up to that point in my life) bj I had ever had. My eyes rolled back in my head and my feet trembled with delight, even my hair curled. 
The next day I got up and emptied out my entire bank account.
I was on a mission!
I went back to the bar, saw the woman and said "You've given me the best hj and bj I have ever had in my life, I've got to know how good your nether regions are. How much? Name your price. I'll pay anything for it!" 
The woman said "Come here, let me show you something" 
She took me back to the window and pointed to an adjacent island". 
"You see that island over there with the amazing resorts and rich neighbourhoods?" 
I said "Yes I do." 
She said "Well, If I had a pussy I could buy that too."


Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel