Lord Noel's Dating Tips

What ho! Pepys...



Everyone said Rex was barking mad - until they met his girlfriend


Unless you're a Zoophile, sooner or later you will find yourself making an effort to meet other humanoids. Your preference will initially be for what you consider to be 'like minded' persons (ie. persons with no friends like yourself). The good news is that these persons will be very easy to find! Just stay at home and try out online dating! It's very popular right now and it's where inanimate computers decide who would be the best match for you. So if, after inputting all the information about yourself, you end up with someone horrible you know who to blame.
You could try advertising yourself in obscure Arty magazines which you believe would only be read by the interesting people you would like to meet (bearing in mind that they will be doing exactly the same thing). If you choose this route there are many abbreviations that are used in adverts which are designed to save time and money by those wishing to link up with you quickly for a quiet romantic evening in some secluded layby.
Some of the more popular dating ad abbreviations are quite confusing so be careful!
MSW - 'Masterful slave worship'
TDAH - 'Likes making theatrical entrances'
OOH - 'I have massive genitals'
PDA - 'Addicted to electrical devices'
GSOH - 'Go suck on hemorrhoids'
WTM - 'Where's the money'?
WDYBIAS - 'Will Dump Your Body In A Skip'.

You're welcome!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel