Whatto! Peeps......
I recently travelled to another part of the County to check out some more land that I was considering purchasing....
....It was quite some distance from my home so I decided to stay a few days to make the trip less hectic.
On the final afternoon I was outside for quite some time, surveying some flooding on the lower field when I received a telephone call on my mobile phone.......
"Hello, Señor Lord Noel?" said the voice...
..."This is Ernesto your caretaker at Virtual Manor."
"Ah yes, Ernesto" I replied "What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Lord sir, that your parrot - he died."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won me the International competition Trophy?"
"Sí, Lord Noel that is the one."
"Oh No! That's a great pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"He die from eating rotten meat Lord Noel."
"Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?" I snapped.
"Nobody, Señor Lord Noel. He ate the meat from off the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"Your thoroughbred horse, he name 'Lucky'. He die from all the work - pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane Ernesto?" I implored "What bally water cart?"
"The one we use to put out the fire." he stuttered
"Good gracious Man! Start making sense!....What fire are you bally well talking about?"
"The one at Virtually Manor! The candle she fall..... and the curtains - they catch fire."
"What the.....?!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for?"
"Is for the funeral....."
"WHAT BALLY FUNERAL?!"
"Your mother-in-law, Lord Sir. She show up two night ago out of blue and I thought she was thief, so I hit her with your new Golfing Driver."
At this point there followed a respectable....... and mutual .......Silence...
"Ernesto" I finally said.....
....."if you've broken that driver, you're fired!"
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
