Lord Noel Knows It's A Long Story

What ho! Pepys....

A travelling Poet came to our pub and regaled us with literary gems of one kind and another....
.....and he finished this particular 'Gig' with a story about The Countryside.....
....as the pub hushed.....everyone became transfixed and he began to speak......
"In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh, if I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly, and I will eat him."
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches, and that fish leaps for it, that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and then have a proper trophy."
A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, and that fish jumps for that fly, and that bear grabs for that fish, the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, and that fish jumps for that fly, and that bear grabs for that fish, and that hunter shoots that bear, and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich, then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water, the fish swallows the fly, the bear grabs the fish, the hunter shoots the bear, the mouse grabs the cheese sandwich, the cat jumps for the mouse, the mouse ducks, and the cat falls into the water and drowns.

And the moral of the story is: Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy is probably gonna get wet!"

How Charming.....

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel