Lord Noel Reads The Captain's Log

Whatto! Peeps.....

Ahar! Can I recommend to ye the high protein dyet?

Those of you who know of my family roots will also know that there seems to be very strong evidence for Pirate connections......
......with the original family members being foreign seafarers who arrived on the beaches of County Clare, Eire...
During my continued research on the subject I have managed to unearth an old story about one of my oldest ancestors.....
....one Captain Vellus!
Captain Vellus was apparently very successful at what he did; for years he guided Pirate ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or the 'Authorities' get the better of him. He was admired by his crew and feared by other Sea Captains. 
However, the story tells that there was one thing different about Captain Vellus...... 
Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his quarters and open a small metal safe. Within the safe was a leather envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would reportedly stare at the paper for a minute, and then lock it back up. Afterwards, he would go about his daily duties. 
For years this went on, and eventually his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.
One day, during a fierce sea battle whilst boarding another vessel, Captain Vellus was shot in the chest by an officer using a flintlock pistol and he died at sea. 
After laying the captain's body to rest in a formal sea burial, the First Mate led the entire crew down to the Captain’s quarters...
...determined to put to rest their curiousity about Captain Vellus's strange behaviour....
....once and for all.
The First Mate found a key amongst the Captain's personal effects and with it he opened the metal safe......
......he then prised apart the leather envelope, and looked inside.........
The story tells that the First Mate then turned deathly pale as he slowly read the paper.....
.....then he turned and showed the paper to the rest of the loyal crew. 
Four words were on the paper.......
......two lines......
.....with two words each:


"Port Left"

"Starboard Right"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel