Whatto! Pepys...
We all like to reinvent ourselves, taking into account our new-found knowledge or inderstanding of the changes within Society that have influenced our development. And Western Women are very familiar with this process, which helps them to define the new 'me'.
She is not HORNY,
She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She is not a SLUT,
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE,
She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She does not have THIN LIPS,
She is COLLAGEN DEFICIENT.
She is not a BAD COOK,
She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not HALF NAKED,
She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY,
She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED,
She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED,
She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT,
She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not a SCREAMER,
She is VOCALLY ACTIVE.
She is not EASY,
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT,
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She in not DUMB,
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY,
She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE,
She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
She does not HATE SPORTS,
She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND,
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME,
She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED,
She causes TEMPORARAY BLOOD RELOCATION.
She is not KINKY,
She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY,
She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not GO SHOPPING,
She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIRHEAD,
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK,
She gets CHEMICALLY IMBALANCED.
She does not get FAT,
She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not FRIGID,
She is TERMINALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP,
She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS,
She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU,
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not LOOSE,
She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS,
She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
Tallyho! Best Orwellian Wishes - Lord Noel
We all like to reinvent ourselves, taking into account our new-found knowledge or inderstanding of the changes within Society that have influenced our development. And Western Women are very familiar with this process, which helps them to define the new 'me'.
She is not HORNY,
She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She is not a SLUT,
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE,
She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She does not have THIN LIPS,
She is COLLAGEN DEFICIENT.
She is not a BAD COOK,
She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not HALF NAKED,
She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY,
She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED,
She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED,
She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT,
She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not a SCREAMER,
She is VOCALLY ACTIVE.
She is not EASY,
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT,
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She in not DUMB,
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY,
She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE,
She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
She does not HATE SPORTS,
She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND,
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME,
She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED,
She causes TEMPORARAY BLOOD RELOCATION.
She is not KINKY,
She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY,
She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not GO SHOPPING,
She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIRHEAD,
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK,
She gets CHEMICALLY IMBALANCED.
She does not get FAT,
She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not FRIGID,
She is TERMINALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP,
She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS,
She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU,
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not LOOSE,
She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS,
She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
Tallyho! Best Orwellian Wishes - Lord Noel
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