Whatto! Pepys....
I recently announced my return to the UKland following my extended soiree in the far east....
....and I should have realised that it would begin an avalanche of mail from Help Seeking Locals.
As I have selflessly dedicated myself to helping others I find myself compelled to assist my new-found friend...
...and reproduce their correspondence with me below for your perusal.
"Hi Lord Noel,
I heard that you had recently returned to the UK and I wondered if you could assist me?
Recently I spent a not inconsiderable amount of money safeguarding a prominant advertising location within the confines of the window of our Local Post Office....
.... but, to date, I have received NO replies!
I know that your readership consists mainly of discerning, sophisticated adults and I wondered if you could help me reach that demographic audience by reproducing my advertisement campaign within you illustrious blog pages?
Ps. Do you happen to know the current address of Deborah Meaden?
Yours sincerely
Michael Again"
"Dearest Michael,
Our success rate in situations like this is unparalleled....
...mainly because it is unquantified....
...but I gain a perverse pleasure in assisting a needy local, like yourself, to achieve one of their self proclaimed 'lifetime ambitions'.
Thank you for your letter - from which I was able to ascertain your current postal address.
Any further contact will, of course, have to be made via my Solicitor because of the Restraining Order I was forced to take out when I found you hiding in my garden hedge with a digital camera and my name tatooed across you forehead in blood.
I trust you will understand
Tallyho!
Best Wishes
Lord Noel"
 |
| Michael Who?... |
I recently announced my return to the UKland following my extended soiree in the far east....
....and I should have realised that it would begin an avalanche of mail from Help Seeking Locals.
As I have selflessly dedicated myself to helping others I find myself compelled to assist my new-found friend...
...and reproduce their correspondence with me below for your perusal.
"Hi Lord Noel,
I heard that you had recently returned to the UK and I wondered if you could assist me?
Recently I spent a not inconsiderable amount of money safeguarding a prominant advertising location within the confines of the window of our Local Post Office....
.... but, to date, I have received NO replies!
I know that your readership consists mainly of discerning, sophisticated adults and I wondered if you could help me reach that demographic audience by reproducing my advertisement campaign within you illustrious blog pages?
Ps. Do you happen to know the current address of Deborah Meaden?
Yours sincerely
Michael Again"
"Dearest Michael,
Our success rate in situations like this is unparalleled....
...mainly because it is unquantified....
...but I gain a perverse pleasure in assisting a needy local, like yourself, to achieve one of their self proclaimed 'lifetime ambitions'.
Thank you for your letter - from which I was able to ascertain your current postal address.
Any further contact will, of course, have to be made via my Solicitor because of the Restraining Order I was forced to take out when I found you hiding in my garden hedge with a digital camera and my name tatooed across you forehead in blood.
I trust you will understand
Tallyho!
Best Wishes
Lord Noel"
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