Lord Noel Gets the Hang of this Shopping Lark

Whatho! Pepys...

As our Butler was orf sick (again), I decided to participate in the very popular past time of 'Shopping'. I am proud to say that I was able to negotiate the aisles at the Supermarket with a metal trolley that seemed to have a mind of its own. Once I'd selected the items I then heard a tannoy announcement calling for "All Red Leaders to Support" which is a secret code I was not unfamiliar with from my time in the Foreign Office. So I headed over to the gathering throngs at the till and waited patiently behind a girl in a short queue.  So far so good....
As I stood there I noticed from the purchases she had laid out on the conveyor that she had bought the following items:

1 bar of soap 
1 toothbrush 
1 tube of toothpaste 
1 loaf of bread 
1 pint of milk 
1 single serving of cereal 
1 single frozen dinner 

I looked at the young lady as her items were being processed and smiled at her saying, "Single,huh?"
The girl smiled back sheepishly and replied, "Why Yes Lord Noel....How did you guess?......
.....Oh no wait! I know....it's because I bought 'one' of everything right?!"
"No!" I said, "It's because you're ugly."



Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel