Sunday, 3 June 2012

Lord Noel Sees An Ice Age Approaching

What ho! Pepys...


As a result of a recent brainstorming session (the results of which will shortly give you an idea of the quality of the brains which were stormed) the following ideas (thanks to the imbibing of mild hallucinogenics) were finally put forward as future names for my one man visionary travelling ice cream emporium (actually the Travelling Ice Cream Emporium is a very good suggestion!)
Anyway - they seemed to fall into several different categories so I have filed them away for your ease and pleasure.

So here are tonight's finalists!

Filmic:-
Sixth Sense Ice's - Icy Dead Popsicles!

Suggestive:-
Lord Noel's Luscious Licks - Once tasted there's no going back! 
Suck Me and Lick One! Lick Me Real Good!
(I was on a bit of a roll at this point)
Noelie No-Pants (Lady Jacqueline's suggestion - I believe she may have lost interest around now)
Ice Age - I'm coming weather you like it or not!
The Heavy Creamer (I can just hear them lining the streets excitedly yelling out - 'Here he comes!'


Local Interest:-
Norfolk & Goode Ice Creams - a locally sauced jokette, totally choco with amusement
Iceni Ices - from the ancient tribe who once frequented this area - with the added attraction of being able to dress as Bodecia and branch into a very unique product line later on - horse milk!
Added to that would be the extra dimension of excitement in the appearance of me on my bicycle which could be greatly enhanced by the addition of large daggers sticking out from the wheels of the bicycle as I cycle through the high streets slicing up tiny children
That one nearly fell into this next category so it qualifies for either.

Attention Grabbing:-
Pol Ice - with the cart made up in Police livery - flashing blue light! You could turn up anywhere and soon draw a crowd of rubber neckers who are exactly the sort of people who might be drawn into purchasing a creamed ice from a passing cyclist....they love looking at anything that's just been creamed.
Ice Lord! with me in a suitably HeMan style outfit (plus sword) to draw all the injured kids back - OR a more sinister approach with everything painted black and me dressed up like a vampire funeral director in tails and top hat - a cross between Victoriana and Fairground Gothic with that beautiful gold, red, black and green Steam age hand lettering on the side of the cart.
....and on a similar vain vein...
Eco Ice Warrior - featuring the 'Saviour of the Planet' (me!) through the medium of frozen yogurt

Clever Word Usage:-
Conspir Ices - featuring a logo of the hovering eye of Thoth within a sinister triangle. Simply a 'must' for all Freemasonry Do's!
Leading us nicely to another Ghia worshipping favourite - Isis Ices
and....
The Yog Kart - geddit?
Terribly Tastycles - 'I think this redefines the pitching level for us here at Ices Inc' - which could be a Cartoon based presentation and livery....with cartoon sound effects instead of a traditional ice cream man tune.
The Chill or Cold Cycle - Clearly the intoxicants were beginning to wear orf at this point - not sure if this was meant to be...... like a very cold..... washing machine?
....and finally my own personal favourite (along with the newly invented 'Lord Noel's Travelling Ice Cream Emporium')
The Icicle Bicycle - coz it rhymes!


Tallyho!
Best Wises - Lord Noel


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