Whatto! Peeps...
People often wonder why Supermarkets are allowed to come to small towns like ours...
...destroying local businesses by undermining them with there low pricing structure.
But sometimes it's a blessing in disguise.
We have a local baker operating on our High Street - a French chap called Claude...
...who prefers to be know as a 'Boulanger'
...who prefers to be know as a 'Boulanger'
I bought a loaf of bread from there once
only to find that it smelt absolutely dreadful.
I took it straight back to the shop and complained to the staff there...
...who said "That's the fourth loaf that's been returned today for the same reason...
...it's because the Baker has smelly hands"
I was shocked and alarmed by the reason just given
and asked incredulously "Why did the baker have smelly hands?"
and asked incredulously "Why did the baker have smelly hands?"
And the assistant replied "Because he kneaded a poo".
I am sooooo sorry if you're having a meal as you read this!
Perhaps I should have warned you in advance - but I didn't so it's too late now.
Anyway...
You can imagine how enraged this piece of information made me...
and I immediately went behind the counter,
barging the assistant to one side
and forcing my way through to the business end of the bakery...
...where I suddenly came face to face with 'Boulanger Claude'.
My training and instincts suddenly took over and I found myself tweaking both his nipples hard between my thumbs and forefingers!
He screamed in agony as my torture continued and then I shouted straight at him
"That's for not washing your hands you filthy frog!"
and then I added...
"And if you are really a 'Boulanger' as you claim...
...you should be no stranger to pain!"
I am sooooo sorry if you're having a meal as you read this!
Perhaps I should have warned you in advance - but I didn't so it's too late now.
Anyway...
You can imagine how enraged this piece of information made me...
and I immediately went behind the counter,
barging the assistant to one side
and forcing my way through to the business end of the bakery...
...where I suddenly came face to face with 'Boulanger Claude'.
My training and instincts suddenly took over and I found myself tweaking both his nipples hard between my thumbs and forefingers!
He screamed in agony as my torture continued and then I shouted straight at him
"That's for not washing your hands you filthy frog!"
and then I added...
"And if you are really a 'Boulanger' as you claim...
...you should be no stranger to pain!"
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
