Whatto! Pepys...
Yes it's that time again!
Free advice from ME to YOU (the General Public) on matters that may be concerning your pretty little heads.
Co-incidentally I recently received this desperate email to which I attributed my full attention:
"Dear Lord Noel
I recently woke up in a field with amnesia, covered in cow shit with my clothing full of straw!
My breath stank badly and all the muscles in my body ached like Hell!
I vaguely remember a tremendously blinding flash - but that's about it.
What the f%%k is going on?
from General Public (HM Armed Forces)"
"Dear General,
Thank you for your question which has received my full attention.
Here is my expert opinion about your predicament:
I believe that if you woke up in a field in the circumstances you described (with amnesia, covered in straw and cow shit) it can only mean ONE thing!
Congratulations!
You’re probably a scarecrow who's magically come to life!
This calls for a celebration!
Pass me the Jesus Juice!
Tallyho!
Best Wishes
Lord Noel"
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